Never Yours : Allah Knows Best

Part 12

Our faces were inches away he held his breath so frustrated by the small  distance between us
My face muscles relaxed but my eyes still had a very cold emotionless look
_" you never stop with your arrogant rude remarks huh ? " i said very calmly
_" oh..... I can really understand if you don't trust me, you don't know me..... But to not trust your own brother...... Then you have a problem boy " i said pushing slowly a lock of hair that fell on his forehead
_" boy? " he said raising an eyebrow
I fixed my posture looking down at him
_" yes, judging from your behavior ".
His face became red and he had a sharp look
_" you.... ".
I raised my hand to stop him
_" shh... He is like a brother to me and don't talk about things you don't know please.... Now if you don't have any other rude remarks to add i will change my clothes and help you clean yourself ".
I headed to the bathroom leaving him blinking
I made sure to walk slowly to seem relaxed and as soon as i closed the bathroom door i leaned on the wall letting out a big breath
I was surprised by my own boldness, i laughed remembering his expression
It was my first victory

I changed my clothes and putted on my scarf after that i joined him and helped him get in the bathroom
He laid down on a long chair his head thrown on the back so i can wash his hair
He was so calm and didn't show any anger
I was washing and massaging at same time he closed his eyes then opened them again after a while to look at me
_" do you feel better?" i asked
_" yeah.... Thank you ".
I smiled and continued
After we finished i helped him to get in the bed
_" take.... " he said with my two books on his hand
_" oh.. Have you read the two ".
_" just one, it was good... But what catched my attention was  something else.... ".
I didn't understand what he was referring to, but once he showed me the small envelope on his hand reality hit me

_" a letter for my future husband... " he said reading the title with a mocking smile
I ran up to him and took it quickly from his hand
My cheeks were burning and i wanted to bury myself from embarrassment

It was a letter that i wrote back in the days when i still dreamt of meeting true love
_" so...... Who is he? ".
_" huh? ".
_" to whom did you write it ? you had a lover? ".
_" are you dumb? I Clearly said in the letter that i don't Know who.... But i just wrote it it's nothing ".
It was that kind of letters  you write for a future event 10 years or 5 years from now
I promised that i will make sure to preserve everything until i meet    " Him "
Love, the kind of looks that a lover gives, the smiles........ All of it
_" if it was nothing... then why are you holding it like that ".
I didn't realise that i was holding it next to my chest and looking down at it.           

I rolled it in my hand slowly crashing it
_" it meant before but now it's useless...... I have nothing to give ".
I said looking him in the eyes and throwing the letter in the trash
He understood what i meant  very clearly seeing the way his smile disappeared and how he lowered his head
The tension was big and i felt suffocated in the room
I needed to get out of there

_" do you need something from the kitchen?" i said softly hoping not to show my weakness but i knew my eyes betrayed me

He looked at me with pity ..... Exactly what i did not want

_" no, thank you mira ".

The truth is that i wasn't going to the kitchen...i escaped to where Ren was
The place where i can let it all out

* i am yours since the day i was born
I don't know you yet but i will love
Only you, purity may seem to others
That it's about physical contacts but
For me it means that my heart will
Be innocent until i meet you
That you are the only one who will
See that side of me
When i say that i am yours i mean
Everything, never been someone's
Else emotionally and physically
Only yours *.

I remember the words that i wrote clearly
Because I've meant every single one of them
But all that happened recently changed everything

My only thoughts were about how to get my life back
Sometimes i think that this is my life... That i have to deal with it

That those persons ali papa aissa, amina and even okba are supposed to be in my life

Because every person comes into our journey for a reason

We don't know but allah knows

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_ " how was uni mira?" we were having dinner when papa aissa asked me
_" it was fine, they didn't start finals yet i have to get notes from other students but i will be fine ".

The truth is i didn't go but thankfully i knew how the schedule was

_" shouldn't you take care of your husband instead " said samia

_" mother, i am all fine let her be " said okba annoyed

_" hmm " for the first time she didn't say something back

Days went by and i finally restarted my studies, i help ali to revise in the evening and study on my own the night sometimes in his room

Okba insisted many time that i should revise in our chamber he would come often to check on me and sit with me and ali

_" aagh why are you doing this to me, i have enough homework to do " said ali laying on the bed

I stood beside the bed hands on my hips then grabbed his ear

_" ouch! ".

_" you are going to solve all those exercises, and if you don't do well in your exams i will eat you alive " i warned
_" do it or it will be your end " said okba laughing at his brother

He stood on the door way leaning on the frame side
_" she is torturing me and you are laughing! " complained ali

_" i will bring my stuff and comeback you better start "i warned before getting out

Okba followed me to our room

_" you are giving him a hard time huh? " he laughed
_" yes. I want to help him with all i can before i leave "

His expression changed

_" leave?.... What do you mean ? ".

_" after we get a divorce, did you forget? ".

He came closer and lowered his head to my level with a serious gaze

_" what divorce?... No one is going to get divorced "...........................

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I hope you like this new chapter
Next time incha allah 🙏