ten years. [lrh]

ten.

5 years ago.

'We want out.'

Luke stared at the boys. He wasn't hearing things right.

'No.' He said, taking a step forward. Calum, Ashton, and Michael took a step back. 'What about the band?'

Calum and Michael looked at each other, and Luke wondered what was going on through their heads. They were clearly joking. They had to be joking. He couldn't find replacements for his three best friends. The band wouldn't be the same without them.

'Luke, mate,' Ashton hesitated, trying to form his words. 'We're still in 5 Seconds of Summer-'

'Then what's happening?'

'- but you're not.'

He knew why. Luke knew why the boys wanted him gone, but he couldn't believe it. They gave up on him. Why did they give up on him? He thought he was improving. No, he WAS improving. The cocaine, the cheating, the lies. Luke was done with it. All of it, so why didn't the others see him? What happened to the new light he was dowsing in?

'We're allowed to be selfish,' Michael started, and Luke's shoulders dropped. Michael, out of all of them.

'We're allowed to be selfish and your presence isn't helping any of us here. It's not our reputation that's been ruined; it's yours.'

Luke wanted to argue, but he had forgotten how to speak. His jaw was locked together and he felt submerged under water. He was losing air. He needed to breathe.

The band was his home. He gave up every little thing that had been taken for granted to create that home. To grow that home, and make it what it was. He made 5 Seconds of Summer. It was all him at the start. The girls loved HIM the most. People make mistakes. He made a few, but no one was forgiving anymore.

'H- how long was this being planned for?' He choked, trying to find some form of mercy within the three member's eyes. They were good at hiding guilt.

'We're not telling you that.' Michael replied.

'I'm getting better.'

'No, you're not, Luke.' Calum sighed, rubbing the sweat off his forehead. 'Everyone around you is just getting better at dealing with things.'

----------------

5 years later.

'Things were getting better,' Luke said, his voice strained. 'Things were supposed to get fucking better.'

Amanda steered him away from the site, unable to think of something that might distract him. There's not much that can make a person happy after their Hollywood star gets hacked up... for the second time.

She thought she had been keeping a good tab on Luke Hemmings, ex vocalist and guitarist of 5 Seconds of Summer. Clearly, she was wrong, because she never knew things were this bad. Yeah, she had seen those articles, but they weren't ever that terrible. Was she missing something? Celebrities have drama daily. This was different.

'What's been happening?' She asked, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket. She knew the answer wasn't going to be promising, but it was worth a shot.

'I can't tell you. I don't want to tell you-'

Amanda interrupted him. 'How the hell do you expect me help you, then?'

'-Not now, Mandy. You made me wait for so long until you let me kiss you.'

'What's that got to do with this?' Luke was acting ridiculously.

'The perfect moment. It's the same thing. It's a lot, and I don't know how to tell you, alright? Just... just wait. A little bit more.'

Amanda was too annoyed to say anything back. So she stared at him, with threatening eyes. Luke didn't react, and instead, he shut his eyes, scrunching tight. When he opened them again, he took a breath, and smiled.

It wasn't genuine at all. Amanda could see his upper lip quivering, but she kept quiet. This seemed normal for Luke anyway. This was his way of dealing.

'Somewhere new.' He said, and grabbed Amanda's arm, running through the crowds once again without warning.

Hollywood was a blur for Amanda. Flashing lights, music, and traffic, all at night time. For so long, she thought the whole thing was a stereotyped myth, like those children's films that always seemed to feature some talking pet from LA. She was wrong. Or Luke had taken her to the stereotyped myth part of Hollywood, and the rest was as boring as everywhere else in America.

They arrived at a train station, and Luke halted to a stop. 'Before we get on, you need to promise me one thing.' He whispered.

'Where are we going?'

'Irrelevant. Promise me.'

'Promise you what?' Amanda waited for him to continue. The man needed to learn how to get to the point.

'No questions. I won't ask you about your immediate Past, you won't ask about mine. The only Past we talk about is ours. And no asking about my problems. Everyone has problems. Everyone can deal with them on their own.'

Amanda sealed his promise, but deep down, she knew she wouldn't be able to keep it. She had been starving for ten years, feeding on single grains of rice from update pages on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. Now, she had her chance to get her answers.

And god, would she get them.

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sURELY Y'ALL LAUGHED A LIL WHEN YOU READ THE COCAINE LIES AND CHEATING PART bc i felt evil writing it ehehejfksjdj (if u know, u know, and u should know)

a super super super late, unedited, and badly written update by urs truly!!
im so sorry i took so long for this it won't happen again i promise xx

im also aware that i probably lost like 3/4 of my readers so hi if ur reading this ily thank u for not forgetting about this xo

if you haven't already, check out my new book: evie! it's about luke as a father figure and im gonna be working super hard on it

as for this book, updates will come regularly once more and i've now got a better plan for where i wanna take this!

love u thank u for still reading,
— epihphany