I Hated You First ➸ Larry

Chapter 19

My eyes fluttered open seeing gray walls.

I sat up quickly. Ow. That was a mistake cause my head and chest is hurting like a bitch.

I observed the room I was in. It was filled with band posters and cool drawings and sketches of celebrities, mostly of the famous singer Perrie Edwards. Wait, this room is familiar?

I then saw a footie trophie. I squinted trying to see the name on it.

Zayn Malik.

My breathe hitched.

FUCKING FUCK SHIT DONKEYS! I'M IN ZAYN'S DORM-MY OLD DORM?! WHYYYY? HOW'D I GET HERE! DID I SLEEPWALK HERE? DOES ZAYN KNOW I'M HERE? FUCK OF COURSE NOT! I NEED TO GET THE FUCKING HELL OUTTA HERE BEFORE-

The door opened revealing a humming Zayn holding a tray of food.

He looked up and smiled at me. "Hey."

My eyes bulged.

Uhhh...da fuq?!

"W-what?" I croaked.

Zayn chuckled and sat the tray down on the bed in front of me. I backed up, scared.

"How are you feeling?" he asked kneeling down to me.

I stared down at him with wide eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was biting his lip. His warm chocolate eyes looked genuinely worried and concerned.

"I-I..."

No he's just messing with you! It's a trap! He's just trying to mess with your mind so he can kick your arse again.

My eyes darkened and I shoved him making him topple over. "What the hell are you doing, Zayn? Why am I here? Why are you talking to me? What happened?"

Zayn sighed and stood up. "I came to talk to you and you started freaking out and crying then you just like passed out. I think you had...a panic attack."

"What?!" I yelled.

"Shhhh, Ni. It's 7 in the morning, people are still sleeping."

"NO I WILL NOT SHHH! YOU FUCKING BEAT ME! YOU'RE MY BULLY AND YOU JUST BRING ME BACK TO THE DORM AND...I...I DON'T-WHAT THE HELL?!" I hissed.

"Niall, please let me explain. Just give me minute to explain myself please" he pleaded with wide eyes.

My jaw clenched. "You have one minute."

"Okay well I after I beat you up, I felt really bad and I'm sorry. I feel super bad for what I did. Please please please please forgive me...Well at least don't hate me. You wanna know why I picked on you?"

I opened my mouth to speak but Zayn cut me off. "I'm gay!" he exclaimed. "I'm gay and I...I like you Niall. When I kissed you, I was pissed because I shouldn't have kissed you. I didn't wanna be gay, because it was wrong...well at least that's what my parents thought" he chuckled sadly.

He licked his lips and sighed. "I was never okay with being gay. I felt disgusted. And since last year when you were in my class, I started getting feelings for you and I got mad cause I didn't want these feelings. And then I found out you were my roommate and I got even angrier. I knew I would do something I'd regret..."

I gulped.

"But got dammit, Niall I don't regret it. I don't regret kissing you. The only thing I regret is bullying you."

He placed his hand over mine and I hate to admit it, but I love the contact.

"I feel horrible, disgusted and angered for what I did. And if you wanna hit me you can! I deserve it. But I like you Niall Horan. You're beautiful. You're all I think about. When you became my roommate, I started dreaming about you. I started going out and drinking and trying to block you out. I know you probably thought I went out to get away from you because you were gay...but I only did it to not get feelings for you...well even more feelings than I had originally. I'm so so so sorry for what I did. I could've killed you!"