Dear J, (not putting his full name)
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. Why did you kiss me?
Okay, so technically.... no, it hadn't even made it to technically yet..... but anyway, we had been "going out" for less than an hour. What the fudge, dude?! And to make it even worse, you kissed me after I had said I didn't want to be in a relationship because 1.) my parents won't let me date, 2.) It was Dorian who asked you out for me, even though I said I didn't want her to, and 3.) by that point, I was liking you a whole lot less. And even after I told you that multiple times, you still had the nerve to kiss me!
Do you have any idea how much pressure that put on me? For days I was waking up with stomach aches and crying my eyes out simply from the guilt of going out with someone when I knew it was going against my parents. That awful feeling only stopped once I called my mom and basically told her everything when I could breathe between the sobs. (A/N: This is just how I am. So go ahead, call me a goody-two-shoes because that's what I am and I don't really care how you state it.) You are seriously lucky that neither my mom nor I told my dad or I would be writing this letter to a dead man.
Not to mention the rumors going around the 7th grade hall! Did you even think about that?! Even my friends, who I were hoping would just leave it alone, came up to me and asked "Is it true that you kissed an eighth grader backstage yesterday at musical rehearsal?" To that, I would always reply "No, he kissed me, not the other way around. And no, before you ask (like EVERYONE ELSE had), I did not kiss back." And then I would (very snippily) ask them to stop talking about it.
Eventually, of course, everyone forgot about it (except for the people in the musical with us. They are never going to let me live that down.) But the important thing is that I'm never going to forget it. I'm not even going to remember it as my first kiss because that kiss had nothing to do with me. It was all you. I'm just going to remember it as one of the most embarassing and uncomfortable times in my life.
Sincerely,
Trin
P.S. No, I'm never, ever going to "go out" with you ever again.
