Soul of the Sky (HTTYD Runaway Fic)

Break My Heart (and Lay Down My Weapons)

A/N: 104 READS! I am shooketh. Thank you guys so much!

Edit from future Isarn09:
The new title is adapted from the lyrics of Run To You by Pentatonix. Look them up. But listen to their pre-2018 songs, because after that they lost Avi Kaplan (the most awesome bass singer ever) and it's just not the same *sob*.

Toothless
"I miss her."
"And he finally admits it! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third likes Astrid Hofferson!" I shook with laughter. Silly humans. Hiccup had made his crush on the blonde Shield-Maiden fairly obvious. For a while, I had worried that he'd stay tied to Berk because of it. "Do you regret leaving?" I asked, my good mood disappearing. I knew he was happier out here, and I was afraid he'd want to return to the place he'd been hurt. He looked surprised. "Of course not! Why would I live with being a failure just for one silly crush?" Then his self-esteem issues attacked like an angry Smokebreath. "Although I guess that hasn't really changed. I just ran away from the names and the bullying."

I growled quietly. On the second night of freedom, Hiccup had let slip that he'd often been beaten up. I then threatened to sit on him unless he told me everything. None of the stories had been good, featuring frequent emotional abuse and physical attacks. In my opinion, the hatchling had been lucky to escape mostly intact. Well, physically at least. Hiccup had an opinion of himself lower than my opinion of the dried fish he'd brought along, influenced heavily by the vocally expressed views of Berk, the other teens and even his own father.

I'd had to resist some sort of angry impulse when he'd told me that, clearly upset and lonely-looking. "I'm not the son he wanted. Or the one he needed. I'm just the one he got, but sometimes I think he hates me for it. I can't be the Viking he wants me to be, no matter how hard I try. But at least I'm trying."
It reminded me of the Queen. Her standards were always too high for us to meet, but we could never work hard enough. She would never love us or care about us, but we still wanted her approval.

"You are NOT a failure." I said softly. "You're just different. Like me. You weren't meant to fit in, but they still wanted you to. That's why they said those things. Because you are you, not what they think you should be." He looked at me sceptically, reverting to Norse in an attempt to make me understand. "I am, Toothless. Three hundred years, and I'm the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon. I've never done anything useful in my life. I'm responsible for this." he gestured to my damaged tail, "I'm a liability slowing you down. I can't even lift a sword or an axe, or hit things with a hammer." Suddenly, I burst into laughter. "That's because they never let you try!" Hiccup stared at me in absolute puzzlement. "What?"

"Think about it." I snorted. "They look at you and see a weakling. But if you were as weak as they thought, you wouldn't have been able to sharpen things in the forge, or make this!" I held up my prosthetic tail, waving it in front of his face. "You've been hitting things with a hammer since you were six. And as for the swords and axes, you just never had the chance to learn!" Hiccup stared at me like I was an alien. He evidently hadn't thought of that.

"You are now officially in training!" I announced dramatically. "Now DO TWENTY PUSHUPS!" Hiccup sighed. "Great. My best and only friend is an evil dragon drill sergeant. By the way, I'm pretty sure the phrase is 'drop and give me twenty'." I whacked him with the flat part of my tail, knocking him over. "Stop talking back or I'll make you do double. Now get to it!" Hiccup groaned but followed my instructions. "One, two, I hate you, three..."

"Anyone can do stuff." I announced solemnly. "You just have to learn how to do the stuff."
Yes, that's right. I, the great and fabulous Toothless, am also a very inspirational speaker. I have many talents.
You may now applaud.

Astrid
The entire village had hung under an oppressive shadow of grief since Hiccup's funeral yesterday. We had had no body to burn, so all that was on the boat was his dagger and the shredded vest I'd later found lying on the scorched earth.

Stoick's face during the funeral had been truly terrible. All the family he had left had been taken by dragons, leaving behind nothing but blank space and sadness. And all of Berk had felt it, sending the island into a spiral of depression. Even Gobber, always cheerful and matter-of-fact, had retreated to his hut with a suspiciously tearful face,

Most funerals, Berk got roaring drunk and told stories about the dead person all into the night. Their life was celebrated and their usually heroic death, and everyone felt better afterwards. But holding one for Hiccup? He'd been barely fifteen, with no great deeds to his name other than being the first Viking killed by a Night Fury. He hadn't died heroically or gone out with a bang and a dramatic punchline. He'd not told us not to mourn his death, and he had so little life to celebrate.

A life snuffed out too soon were the worst kind of deaths. It was always senseless, pointless, and left behind too many ghosts.

I'd been named champion and would get to kill the Nightmare, but it was a hollow victory. I'd wanted to win on my own merit, not because the one who deserved the honour had been killed. And I'd locked myself in my room for days after his passing, regretting everything I'd ever said and done.

Grief did strange things, and it seemed Hiccup's death had brought my 'graduating class' closer together. Snotlout was less of a douche after the shock of losing him so soon, the twins didn't prank anyone for a whole two weeks (which had us all very concerned, until Gustav was found in a net trap and they looked suspiciously smug), and Fishlegs had joined me in my trips to the cove to cry and talk about all the regrets we had.

Hiccup was loved more than he realised, and missed more than he'll ever know. And it's the worst feeling in the world to lose someone with so many things left unsaid.

If that Fury ever shows its face within a square mile of Berk again, it will not escape a second time.