Pumpkin Mocha Breve

Part 8

Date- April 1

I woke up on time again the next day. I guess being dumped made me more responsible. Only in some regards, though. I got to work on time, but I also didn't eat in the morning, and I didn't eat anything more than a pastry for lunch. I was usually cheerful towards customers, but I could tell every time I spoke I sounded like I wanted to die. A part of my brain was screaming at me to take care of myself, but I just didn't have the motivation to do anything more than the bare minimum so I didn't die of dehydration or something. 

I noticed Baz didn't get his coffee in the morning, and I didn't even see him walk by all day. Maybe he was avoiding me. Good. I don't know why anyone would want to be around me. 

'He was just trying to be nice yesterday,' my subconscious whispered to me, but I brushed the thought aside. First impressions mattered, and my first impression of him was a pretty asshole. He was probably just trying to make fun of me. My thoughts spiraled deeper and deeper, making up scenarios that were hardly possible, but I seemed to enjoy the thought of anyway. 

'Agatha broke up with you to date Baz. They're off snogging in a dark corner somewhere. He's way hotter than you, you're not even average looking. You have stupid hair and stupid eyes and stupid moles and-'

"Simon?" A familiar voice broke me out of my self-loathing spiral. I looked up to see Penny, standing behind the counter, looking concerned. 

I blinked the oncoming tears away. "Hello, Penny," I said in the monotone tone my voice had taken on in the past few days. "Are you here to order something?"

Penny pushed through the little gate separating the kitchen and seating area, coming up to me with her hands on her hips. "Simon? Why won't you answer my texts? I haven't talked to you in days. You deleted your instagram account too, I couldn't even message you there. I tried to talk to Agatha"- my heart twisted at her name- "but she wouldn't say anything. Said you should tell me, or something."

I shrugged, not meeting her eyes. "I'm fine."

Penny smacked me, hard enough to sting for a second. "Simon! Talk to me. Did something happen between you and Agatha?" 

I took a deep breath. "She broke up with me. Said she didn't love me anymore." I looked away, avoiding Penny as much as I could without scooting backwards onto the counter. "It's- it's no big deal." My voice cracked, and Penny hugged me, holding me tightly. She wasn't the type to hug that often, but I welcomed the touch. I tried to stop, but I felt a tear roll down my nose into Penny's purple hair. She rubbed my back, and I just cried harder, letting it all out. Thankfully no one came in for those few minutes, otherwise they'd see the barista sobbing into the hair of a girl that definitely shouldn't be behind the counter. 

Penny let go eventually, reaching up to tilt my head towards her. I met her eyes. She didn't look angry, just sorrowful. She wiped a tear off my face and offered a small smile. I lifted one corner of my mouth; the closest to smiling I'd done since before the breakup. Penny checked her watch, sighing.

"I have to get to class, Simon, I'm sorry-" I shook my head. 

"It's okay. You can go." I paused. "I- thank you."

She nodded. "I'm here if you need to talk, or if you don't want to talk, that's okay too. Just remember she wasn't your whole life, okay? I know- I know you loved her, and I don't want to hurt you, but... I don't think she was the right one for you. You'll find someone better, I promise you that." She smiled, picked up her bag from where she'd dropped it on the floor, and left, giving me an encouraging wave as she walked out the door. I cleaned myself up, making sure it wasn't too obvious I'd been crying, and continued on my day, feeling a small bit better. 

That night, just as I was about to get ready to close up the shop, I heard the door chime. I was under the counter, putting away boxes, and didn't stand up until the customer got to the counter. I stood up, brushing dust off my knees. "Hello, welcome-" I stopped.

Baz stood there, looking both concerned and intensely prideful. He didn't look at me. The tips of his ears were red with blush.

"What do you want, Pitch?" I heard my voice get cold. 

He sighed before answering. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to make you angry. I sincerely just wanted to know if you were okay, because you'd been gone for five days. I... Are you okay?"

I took a deep breath before answering him. "No, not really, but I don't really want to talk about it with you. I've known you for like, two weeks, and we aren't even friends."

Baz looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know. I'm sorry. I- I shouldn't have assumed I could ask. But- I didn't come here for a late night coffee. I'm not leaving until you talk to me. You need to talk to someone, and sometimes friends aren't always the best ones to talk to." He gestured to a table. "Come sit down with me. No one else is going to come in this late."

I reluctantly sat down at the table across from Baz. 

"So. Talk."

I looked up, meeting Baz's grey gaze staring into me. I looked down again. His eyes were intense. 

"My girlfriend broke up with me six days ago, and I'm being an overdramatic little shit about it. It's nothing important."

Baz said nothing for a moment. "I'm sorry, Simon. You have every right to be upset. She must have been important to you if you're this worked up about it."

Again, I knew Baz was just trying to make me feel better, but again, I couldn't help feeling angry. What was he to say anything about my life? Why was I even talking to him about this? He was probably just going to run off to his rich friends and laugh at me. I stood up, pushing the chair back with my legs. "Just go, away, Baz. I'm not in the mood to talk."

"Snow-"

"Go away!" My voice cracked, and I stood completely still, breathing heavily, willing myself not to cry in front of him. "Just... go away."

Baz got up and walked out of the cafe without another word, and I was left alone at the table, feeling worthless.