Sakura (How to Obtain a Reverse Harem in Naruto)

Time Skips for the Boy Toy

"The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian."

-Anonymous

This is a Time Skip chapter so it's hella choppy since I'm only writing the scenes that are important or funny enough to warrant being brought to life.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!

Warning: There is no logic. This is a parody / satire.

SIDE NOTE FOR WATTPAD: Once again Wattpad is having formating issues, so sorry things look wonky with the scene breaks.

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Dear Sakura,

Kirigakure is coming along very well. Mei is an excellent kage and the village looks completely different than what I remember it. There are actually children playing in the streets now! I never thought I'd see the day that I could walk down Kirigakure without fear and see children laughing. It's wonderful, and I hope you get the chance to see it.

Mei really liked your cookies, by the way. She wants me to tell you that she'd be more than happy to arrange accommodations for you if you visit. "A friend of Zabuza and Haku is a friend of mine. Especially one with such a magical touch in cooking," were her exact words, I believe.

I really hope you take her up on it. I know you're busy at the hospital, but please think about it?

While the people here are nice, and much friendlier than what I remember, it'd be wonderful to have an actual friend here.

And I miss you.

Yours,

Haku

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"Here you go, Tree baby," I said, gesturing towards the mostly empty room upstairs. "You can stay here."

"Please stop calling me Tree Baby," Tenzō sighed. "Thank you for the room, Sakura-san."

"You can drop the san, darling," I said with a chirp. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"Uh-huh."

I patted Tenzō on the shoulder before turning back around to address Kakashi who was standing a solid meter away from us and eyeing me like I might jump on him at any moment. With a big smile I said, "This is great. I love having roommates."

"Great is not the word I would use to describe this," Kakashi informed me.

"You're right. Perfect is a better description."

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My sweet little Haku,

I'd LOVE to visit Kirigakure! I talked to Tsunade-sama about it and she mentioned she was already planning on sending a delegation to discuss renewing the non-aggression pact between our villages. There's a good chance she'll let me tag along. I mean it'd only make sense, right? I am her apprentice and it'd be a good show of respect and trust to send me along.

Plus, ya know, I know how to bribe her.

(her weakness is rum cake)

Of course when I do visit you'll have to show me around. ;J

I'm sending along some pictures of me and Brightheart because she's an adorable puppy and the world needs to see how cute she is.

Tell Zabuza that he better be dating Mei by the time I get there!

Lots of love,

Sakura

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Naruto left with Jiraiya scarcely a couple days after Tenzō moved in. There wasn't much warning. One morning Naruto showed up at my door carrying his plants and shoved them into my arms with a quick, "I gotta go, love ya, bye!"