I'm Real (B.A. x E.H.)

five

Edwin's life droned on and on in a cycle of inconveniences. He dealt with seeing Brandon everywhere. It was no different than seeing the boys everywhere, except it was very different. The rest of the boys didn't have the same effect that Brandon did on Edwin. And according to Edwin, the rest of the boys were simply just not as beautiful as Brandon.

That sentiment came back to haunt him, though. It seemed as every wrong time Edwin could have seen his crush, he saw him. Hence, the cycle of inconveniences.

The worst instance by far was by the pool, when Brandon emerged from the water just as Edwin sat down in the adjacent pool chair. The younger boy was glistening with drops of chlorinated water, skin a warm tan, and muscles that seemed perfectly proportionate to his body. By the time Edwin took in the entirety of the boy in front of him, he was sporting a semi. He found himself excusing himself from the group, and waddled inside to take care of his situation.

But the other instances weren't pretty.

There was the time that Edwin was singing in the shower. After he got out, in nothing but a towel, he was greeted with a nudge in the shoulder from Brandon and a flippant comment about how good his voice sounded. Edwin could blame the humidity of the shower for the blush on his cheeks, and thanked God for that.

Times in the studio were just as hard, though. Edwin had to watch how passionate Brandon was about music. He had to hear his angelic voice sing about being the perfect boyfriend. Edwin almost always found himself in a haze of affection after any long recording session. No matter how hard he tried, he could never tune Brandon out.

Now, Edwin laid on his bed, arms folded behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't help but think about coming out to his band mates. Maybe it would ease some of his pain. Maybe Brandon would stop being so perfect, and Edwin would be able to function normally again.

But as he thought, he couldn't help ponder all of the possible negativity that could come with coming out. What if one of the boys secretly was homophobic? What if they started treating Edwin differently? What if they looked at him differently? Edwin knew first hand that they always look at you differently.

Something about it just felt so deceptive to Edwin. Here he was, in a house with four other guys, all trying to live their lives to the fullest. They were all so open and honest with each other, and yet Edwin just couldn't be. It hurt him to not be one hundred percent honest with the guys. He just wondered if it would hurt him more to be completely honest.

When Edwin's phone buzzed with a text message, he didn't bother to look at it. It wasn't until the metal buzzed two, then three times that Edwin decided to figure out what was going on. He fought the urge to roll his eyes as he saw Nick's name flash across their band group chat.

Nick Mara: I'm calling a family meeting.

Zion Kuwonu: Is that what we're calling that shit now? We're not even related.

Brandon Arreaga: It's always a family meeting, Z. It doesn't matter if we're related or not.

Nick Mara: What we call it isn't important.

Austin Porter: Can I choose what we call it?

Brandon Arreaga: No

Zion Kuwonu: No

Edwin shook his head softly at the childish nature of his band mates. He decided to be mature, and ask when the family meeting would occur, but immediately regretted that when Nick requested that everyone come to their living room right at that moment. With a groan, Edwin rolled out of bed and he began his trek downstairs.

He was the last to join the group, seeing as his other four friends were already scattered around the living room. He was happily surprised to see that no one looked serious, indicating that the meeting wouldn't contain bad news. Edwin took a seat next to Austin on the couch, then popped an eyebrow in Nick's direction, silently pressuring him to start speaking.

"Okay," Nick clapped his hands together. "So I think we should set some baseline rules for a very important thing—having girls over. Alexys wants to visit at some point next week, and I can't have her over without established rules."

Edwin rolled his eyes through the entirety of the conversation, completely uncaring about girls as a whole. He especially had no taste for talking about them in any sexual manner. That included what the other boys should do when one of them is having sex.

He practically zoned out, still uninterested even as Nick, Austin, and Zion argued about the sock-on-the-door method. It wasn't until a small voice spoke up from the floor that Edwin was interested in the conversation.

"Do these rules apply to boys too?" Brandon asked. When he received nothing but blank stares in return, he was confused. "What? I'm bi. I just want to make sure the rules apply for everyone."

Edwin froze in shock. The words I'm bi bounced around his head. His mind tore down the middle with both excitement and disappointment. He was excited because the lack of heterosexuality indicated that maybe there was a chance he and Brandon could be together. The disappointment was centered around the fact that Edwin knew his crush on the boy would only grow.

Brandon's bisexual, Edwin thought. That's a game changer.