I'm Real (B.A. x E.H.)

eight

A/N:  Hi everyone!  Thank you so much for supporting this book.  I'm overwhelmed by the comments and the pure love the story is receiving.  I love the story as much as you all do, but I do have a life outside of Wattpad.  Between my senior year, college applications, and struggling mental health, my focus is extremely divided.  Please do not comment asking for an update (or even worse, demanding one).  I will proceed with this book on my own time, when I can.  I hope that means that updates will be frequent, but I cannot promise any regular updates.  So please give me the space I need to develop this story as I see fit.  That being said, thank you again for reading, commenting and voting!  I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Later that day, when the boys found themselves in the actual recording studio, Edwin was on the verge of implosion.  Not only were his nerves running high from the adrenaline of recording his very first song, but the visual of Brandon in the studio was making him lose his mind.

The younger boy had a tendency to throw his head back when he sang, closing his eyes, and letting the melody out with a smooth force. With every riff and high note, the veins in his neck bulged with effort.  After every recording, he ran a hand through his curly hair, sending it in wild directions.

Edwin kept having to step out, claiming that he needed water to soothe a dry throat.  But with the way Zion's eyebrows shot up every time he stepped out, he knew he wasn't convincing.

As he hunched over the water fountain in the hallway, he heard the door down the hall open and shut.  He could barely register the footsteps coming closer before a hand clapped down on his shoulders.  By the heavy metal of the cold rings pressing into his skin, he knew exactly who it was.

"Hey B,"  Edwin greeted, straightening up after his drink of water.

"You okay?  I kept noticing you have to leave.  Are you sick or something?"

Edwin was alarmed by the sincerity in the younger boy's eyes.  "Yeah, I'm okay.  Just a dry throat."

"Are you nervous?"  Edwin stopped himself from shivering as Brandon placed a hand on his bicep.  "Because you have no reason to be.  You'll sound amazing."

"I don't think I can help it."

Brandon chuckled softly.  "I get that.  So what can I do to make it easier for you?  What can I do to make you feel better?

Edwin swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the rapid pounding of his heart in his chest.  He knew that Brandon was always sweet.  His caring nature was always on display as he tried to do everything for his bandmates.  But Edwin didn't realize how his care for others could come back to bite him in the ass.

"I don't think there's anything you can do,"  Edwin choked out.

Brandon smiled.  "I call bullshit.  There's always something to be done."

It took all of Edwin's strength not to close the gap between the two.  He didn't know when their faces had gotten so close, or when they started whispering, but he noticed the change in the way Brandon's hands held his arms.  It turned from a soft hold into a firmer one, imprints of rings beginning to take hold on his bare arms.

"How about you close your eyes, count to ten, and take a deep breath before you head back in.  That always calms my nerves.  Well that, and a good squeeze."

Edwin began tripping over his words.  "I-Is that why you're holding onto my arms so-so tight?"

Brandon nodded, smiling subtly.  "It helps focus tension in one area so it leaves your core.  It always helps right before I sing, so that way my voice doesn't get caught in my throat."

"Seems like a good strategy."

Brandon took a step further into Edwin's personal space, hands squeezing Edwin's arms even more.  "Is it working for you?"

All Edwin could do was nod.  The minute he did, however, Brandon released his hold on him.  Edwin's arms were suddenly cold again, the pressure built up in his chest finally relaxing.  But as Brandon winked at him, his heart sped up again.

"Good.  I'll see you back inside, then."

Brandon turned away and began to walk back to their studio room.  At a loss for words, Edwin backed up until he could be supported by the wall.  His speeding heart was slowing down, but the boy still felt winded.

He had no idea where that all came from.  He couldn't help but wonder if Brandon had ever done that with the other boys, or would  ever do that with the other boys.  Something about it seemed too intimate, too special, for Brandon to pass that off as commonplace.  Not only did he feel the need to ask Zion, but he felt the need to brag about it.  He suddenly wanted everyone in the world to know about how close his face was with Brandon's, how his hands felt on his skin.

But one thing about being semi-closeted was that he only had one person he could tell.

Edwin surprisingly followed Brandon's advice, taking a deep breath and counting to ten with his eyes closed before heading back into the studio room.  He realized how crazy he must have looked, though, when Nick gave him a concerned glance.

"You okay, Ed?"  He asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm fine.  It's just nerves I think."

Brandon decided to pipe up from his seat in the corner.  "What did I tell you?  Don't be nervous.  You're gonna sound great."

The older man seated in front of the sound board shushed the room, waiting for Austin to give him a thumbs up from inside the recording booth.  When the blonde boy did, the track came on, filling the room with the upbeat background music of "Would You Mind."

Edwin snuck a glance at Brandon from the corner of his eye.  He smiled to himself softly as the younger boy had his eyes closed, head bopping to the beat.  At the moment he looked like the sixteen year old he was.  He had a cute, innocent air about him.  It was the exact opposite of the Brandon Edwin saw five minutes ago.

Zion sighed from his position next to Edwin.  As much as he hated to admit it, he felt bad for Edwin.  Zion couldn't imagine what it was like to be into someone you spend every waking minute with, especially when you can't be together.  But something in the back of Zion's mind told him that Edwin and Brandon could be together.

Maybe it would just have to be a secret.