Falice: From A to Z

Noise

Summary: Archie hears a noise coming from the Jones trailer which forces FP and Alice to have a heart to heart.

Rating: T for sexual situations

Genre: Gen, my weird brand of humour

Notes: Set in a world where Archie was never arrested and Hippie Alice is a thing.

~~Noise~~

In hindsight, Archie should have known exactly what those noises were.

Please...

Hurry up and finish me already...

The Jones' trailer windows had been left open on that scorching day, giving Archie an earful of FP Jones begging - pleading - on other side of the tin wall.

Maybe there was too much violence in Archie's life because instead of immediately identifying the sounds for what they were and bolting back to his jalopy, he pushed open the front door, and followed the sounds to the bedroom, bracing himself to see his best friend's dad's dismembered remains.

It had to be the Ghoulies. That was the only explanation. They hated the man's guts and it wouldn't be a stretch to assume they finally decided to act on it.

"Mr Jones? Are you-"

The words died in his throat as he realized this wasn't some sort of sick Ghoulie torture scenario.

What he saw was much more traumatizing.

Jughead's shirtless father was sitting against the headboard with his head back and eyes shut. His breathing was ragged, making strange breathy groans as someone bobbed up and down underneath the bed sheet between his legs.

"Shit!" FP shouted when he caught sight of Archie, throwing an extra blanket and pillow on top of his partner. "Shit, shit, shit ..."

He was too flustered to try to bother identifying the other person in the bed. Judging by the brief glimpse of the bra hanging on the bedpost, it was probably a woman.

Archie kept his eyes firmly covered and shot out the door to retreat from this horrifying situation, barely registering that Mr Jones was calling after him.

"Archie! Red! Slow down, boy!" FP shouted as he wore nothing but a bed sheet wrapped around his waist. "Let's talk about this!"

"Nope. Let's not," Archie raced down the steps of the trailer toward his bright red car. He refused to turn around. "I've seen enough."

"Please don't tell Jughead," FP begged.

That caught his attention. Archie turned on his heel to face his friend's father. "Mr Jones, you're married . To Jughead's mom. He still thinks you're going to work things out. How is that going to happen if you're getting your snake pet by rando?"

"She's not a rando !" FP protested. The word sounded strange coming from him.

"So it's an actual relationship? I don't know if that makes it better or worse!" Archie exclaimed exasperated.

His ears perked at the unmistakable roar of a motorcycle rounding the bend. Panic was written all over FP's face.

"Jughead will be here soon. Please, Arch, let me tell him on my own terms.

Archie considered this. "You have 24 hours. Not a second more."

FP smiled with grateful relief before slinking back into the trailer, just seconds before his son pulled up. Jughead pulled off his helmet and eyed Archie who was leaning casually on his car.