Falice: From A to Z

Zygote

Summary: The time when teenage Alice and teenage FP hooked up in the locker room...

Rating: M for teenagers having sex

Genre: Dark Comedy? I don't even know. 

Notes: Ahhh I thought I posted this but I didn't! So sorry!

I'm assuming young Alice and FP had very terrible sexual education, if they had any at all. After all, it *was* the 90s in small-town America.

Consider this ficlet a PSA.

Wrap it before you tap it.

~~Zygote~~

Alice doesn't want to miss a second of this. She wants to commit every inch of FP to memory before they inevitably break apart once more.

They both know these stolen moments won't last forever.

Not with his dreams of escaping this shitty town, and definitely not with her criminal record trapping her at the Wyrm for life.

So Alice doesn't think of the future. Stays in the moment with her blonde hair loose and wild, and FP's own hair falling into his dark eyes.

She's supposed to be in chemistry class, but instead she is sandwiched between a cold metal locker and FP's warm body. Her form-fitting jeans are pulled down to her knees, a leg awkwardly hooked around his naked hip, and she's trusting him not to drop her on her ass.

But his moans get louder and turn into grunts and his hips lose their rhythm, bucking uncontrollably against her.

It takes a moment for her brain to register what just happened.

"Did you just-?"

She doesn't finish her question; she doesn't need to. She can feel the answer dripping down her thighs.

"I'm sorry," FP mumbles. His haggard breath tickles, sending a surge of panic through her entire being.

" What the fuck? " she brings a hand to his chest pushing him away while she falls gracelessly to her feet. "FP, you were supposed to pull-out!"

This can't be happening.

Only it did happen and it is happening and -

How could FP be so stupid ?

She shuffles to the toilets with her pants still down and slams the stall door behind her. She grabs a handful of toilet paper to clean up their mess, and collapses onto the seat.

"Alice, I'm sorry," he knocks on the door. "I couldn't help it."

"You couldn't help it?" Alice's eyebrow skyrockets. "How hard could it possibly be? And don't you dare make a dirty joke right now."

He shrugs as he runs a hand through his unruly hair. "At least we were standing."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You can only get pregnant if you do it in missionary position," he states nonchalantly.

Alice groans. She doesn't have the patience to unpack his statement.

"Oh god, is that why you're so against missionary? FP, that's not how biology works !" Alice pinches the bridge of her nose.

"But...gravity..."

"That's not how physics works!" she snaps. "Seriously, FP, how are you going to get into college?"

"Alice, that's not fair. I'm trying here," he mutters and she barely catches the hurt in his voice. Yeah, maybe she shouldn't have hit his sore spot, but he shouldn't have cum inside of her.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asks gently from the other side of the stall.

"How about you reach into my uterus and take your sperm back?" she seethes and immediately regrets it. "I'm sorry. That came out really harsh. I'm just... FP, I'm really freaked out right now."

"I know, Al. Me too."

She closes her eyes, and wills her tears not to fall. Think, Alice, think....

What does her mother do in these situations?

"Hey, FP?" she calls. Her voice sounds so small, even to her ears. She can't believe what she's about to ask him. "Can you get me a soda from the vending machine?"

"Yeah! Of course! I'll be right back!"

He runs off and returns in a flash with a chilled bottle of Coca Cola in hand. FP slips it under the stall door.

She takes the plastic bottle and immediately starts shaking it.

"Hey, Alice. What are you doing with that?" FP asks curiously.

"Cleaning our mess," Alice explains, brusquely. Her mother does it all the time. Alice's lack of siblings is a testament to its effectiveness. "The soda will neutralize the sperm."

"Oh. Okay. I guess that makes sense."

"Of course it makes sense, you nitwit. It's chemistry!"

Alice positions the bottle between her legs, and takes a deep breath. She opens the cap, spraying herself with its sticky contents.

Alas, as Alice Smith would discover in a few short months, that is not how chemistry works.

-------

(For the record, the coca cola thing is an actual thing that people do. It doesn't work. Don't even bother.)

GUYS. You made it to the end of the A-Z Series! I can't believe it. Thank you for all the votes, comments etc...

In case you were wondering, I'm intending on adding to Inked (aka the soulmate au one) and Twist (aka the one where Alice stayed on the Southside). Keep an eye out for those~

- N. S