Stop chasing him and chase you instead

"He's speaking his truth, Believe him!!!!"

How many times as women do we often hear exactly what a man say but still try to justify it because the truth in his words pierced our souls or it was shocking. We see what we want, visualize what it would be like to have it and then get disappointed once we get it and it's not as good as we thought it would be.

Understand that some things are better left drooling over and never worth consuming. We can want something but don't need it to make us complete. In the beginning of anything meaningful there is a phase that consists of a lot of questions that's being asked and answered from both parties.

This is the most critical stage to fully pay attention to in order to completely understand who and what we are about to get caught up with/in. Listening to understand is extremely essential at this stage in the meeting process. This is the time to be open to accept the truth for what it is without in anyway attempting to justify what you hear with your own understanding. Get clarity if needed, but trust and believe in what you hear.

It's completely ok in the beginning of meeting anyone new to not have a clear direction in where you two are headed. Through dating and getting to know each other you both get a better understanding with time of what it is you both what. Never settle to be any less than what you know you want. If you want a relationship refuse to be a "friend with benefits" in hopes of you escalating to a girlfriend position.

Understand what it means when you first meet someone, date them, settle for friends with benefits, and are actually in a relationship with a man. Knowing the stages and position to play at certain levels will help avoid heartache and disappointment.

HIS TRUTH

1. uncertainty of what he wants with you (keeping his options open)

2. telling you he want a relationship eventually but wants to take it slow and see how things go (he's willing to be patient and wait for you to give him access to you but it's not guaranteed for him to stick around for the long haul)

3. just got out of a bad relationship and don't want anything serious ( he's emotionally unavailable and will be around to get what he can until something better comes along or his ex returns)

4. wants to be friends (he means exactly that if you offer yourself he won't refuse and he will always remind you of what he said prior once you get in your feelings)

Once a man reveals his truth we have to learn how to accept it for what it is and stop believing that our love, our sex, etc is going to change his mind. He will take all of those things and still leave you due to the fact that he told you his truth in the very beginning but we chose to be blind to the obvious.

People tell us who they are often than we are willing to admit because we choose to see them for what we want and not for the truth they are presenting. Just like you see a snake and fear being striked because you know what it is capable of we have to be the same when it comes to a man. Hear his words for the truth they are and stop rationalizing in our minds what we could do to change all that he said to paint a perfect picture.