Apothecary

Chapter 17

We rode out of Kakiriko in relative silence. I didn't know what area or dungeon Link had in mind next, and frankly I wasn't sure I really cared. My mind was still reeling.
Passing back through the gates, we rode back the way we came. A part of me wondered if we were headed back to Castle Town so soon. I hadn't bothered to ask. But instead of continuing down the dirt road, Link lead us over the bridge we'd camped beside yesterday. I was still a little hazy, but I was a little surprised we weren't headed somewhere more...adventurous-looking. Perhaps he had something else in mind entirely? 

We got off the small bridge, and from there the road continued on straight into a forest clearing. Following it, we left the plains of Hyrule Field and entered a place I'd only heard about.

***

The two of them rode quietly through the woods. As their horses passed between the trees an uncomfortable silence rose between them. Link wasn't sure how to tackle the metaphorical Hinox in the room that had been haunting them ever since Kakiriko. As soon as he came down from the Goron mines all she had spoken to him was to ask how the search went, and after he explained that he had no luck, she silently saddled up and followed his lead out of town. Apart from a "dead inside" look, her face hadn't changed once. Depressed or no, Link knew from experience that it wasn't safe to keep emotions like that just bottled up inside. He took a deep breath and decided to break the silence.

"Y/N."

I slowed my horse and looked back to see Link with the saddest look on his face that I'd ever seen. "Look, I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that whole mess back there. If I'd known what had happened in Kakariko, I never would have--"

I interrupted him, laughing mirthlessly. "Link, you don't need to apologize for that." He looked questioningly at me. "It was my own fault for running away."

"Y/N, what happened wasn't your fault--"

"Link, I left my mother to die at the hands of the Shadow Beasts." That stopped him short. "It's the truth. I didn't bother calling for help, or even think of defending her. I just ran. Like a coward."

He was quiet for a while before he spoke again. "But what could you have done, Y/N?"

"I could have helped! I could have told them what was happening, stayed and defended the town--"

"And gotten yourself killed too?" I stopped. "Y/N, I don't know all of the details, but from what you told me and the others, that was an unworkable situation. She prioritized your safety over all else. That's why she told you to to run."

"She told me to run because I was useless in a fight!"

"She told you to run because she loved you, Y/N." Link's words snapped me out of my self-hating spiral. "She loved you, and she couldn't stand the thought of her daughter being hurt, so she told you to run. If that's what I could have told the kids from Ordon to do, I would have."

"The kids from--?"

"You forget I've been through this before. I stood there and promised my best friend that I would come home safely just before my world turned upside down and the boars crashed through the gates. And the last thing I saw before that Bulbin knocked me unconscious were the kids being nearly run over by a herd of boars and my best friend being shot. When I woke up, the one thought in my mind was that I needed to get to them. So instead of heading to town and informing their families coherently about what had happened, I ran in the opposite direction to try and save them."

"And you did!"

"Only after having the life choked out of me and being transformed into a wolf! If it weren't for the triangles on the back of my hand, I honestly don't know where I'd be right now. My point is, we can't always be heroes. Even if I had caught up to them, I would have been very unprepared for the fight that followed."

"And another thing," said Link, sounding slightly agitated now, "don't you ever let me hear you imply that you're useless again. Because you're not, Y/N. You never have been. I can't count the number of times you've saved me--as a wolf or otherwise."

I didn't know what to say to that. The truth was that I could count the number of times I'd "saved" his life so far, and they weren't that many. But he was trying to be kind, so I nodded and put on a fake smile and went to take my horse's reins again.

I could almost feel Link's eyes narrow behind me. I wasn't getting away that easily.

"There's something still on your mind." I froze when I heard him say it. He'd guessed correctly, but I wasn't sure that I was ready to talk about it just yet. Finally I just forced myself to speak.

"...I went to Malo Mart."

He abruptly stopped Epona. "Oh, goddesses, Y/N, why?"

"I didn't know! Renado suggested it, I thought it might give me some closure, I had no idea about the stupid shop—" I felt myself choking up. "B-but it only ended up making things worse, and I—"
Everything about that horrible visit and my guilt was coming back to me now. The tears were streaming down my face without me even realizing. I hopped off of the horse and attempted to run over to the spring before he could see. He beat me there, but he didn't try to shut me up.

When I had finished my crying jag I was conscious of his arms around me and that I had been crying into his tunic. I looked up and he was looking down at me not with pity but just concern. I pulled away a little, wiping my eyes, and went and splashed my face a few times in the spring to try and calm down. He offered me a handkerchief to dry off.

I mopped my face and looked at him. "...Sorry for delaying us."

"Why do you always apologize for everything?" He brushed a stray strand of hair out of my face."It's not all your fault, you know." He gave me a small smile and then helped me to my feet and my horse.

"...Why are you always so nice to me?" I asked point-blank. I wasn't in the mood to be as evasive as usual.

He got onto Epona. "Because you're nice to me. You deserve it." He gave me another small grin, as if to smooth over what had just happened. "You ready?"

I nodded, and we continued as before, the world seeming just that much brighter this time.