freak|adam banks ¹

fourteen ; i thought you were different

jae;

I somehow got out of practice without having to talk to Adam. I felt bad for ignoring him but I was beyond pissed at him. From what I've heard she's just going to hurt him again but I don't think he understands that. After all he does love her.

"Stop thinking about him Jae." I hear Luis say from the driver seat. He was driving me home after we went out to eat. I had fun but I still had that pain in my heart.

"I can't." I say simply. He sighs loudly, shaking his head.

"The more you think the more it hurts. You know that right?" He asks. I sigh.

"It's not that simple. I just can't stop thinking about it. If I could make the pain go away Luis I would." I yell at him for no reason He shuts up and keeps driving. Silence fills the atmosphere, an awkward one.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." I sigh after a few minutes go by. He nods.

"It's fine, I know you're going through a lot right now. I'm sorry too for being so annoying. I just want you to feel better. I care about you Jae." He says. I hold out my hand, he grabs it with the hand not on the wheel.

"Thanks Luis, it's nice to know that I have someone. Like a protector."  I  say. It felt weird saying that, Adam told me that he was my protector. Adam will always be my protector.

"Protector, huh?" He says smirking. I roll my eyes at him.

"You're so weird." I say laughing. He pulls into my driveway. He gets out of the car and opens the door for me. I smile as I get out.

"Thanks for tonight, it was fun to get Adam off my mind for a while." I say with a smile. He smiles and pulls me into a hug.

"I don't care what time it is, if you need me call me." He says. He leans down and kisses me gently on the cheek.

"Uh okay." I say smiling. He waited until I was in the house to leave, gentleman.

"How was your date?" Josh asks. He was sitting on the couch , smirking at me as I walk into the living room.

"Wasn't a date. We hung out to get my mind off things." I say. He sighs and stands up. He wraps his arms around me.

"I know it sucks." And with his words, I cried. I finally let out what I was holding in. I felt terrible, like I was absoultely nothing. She was better than me and I didn't know how to cope with that yet. Change myself? I'm not sure how to. Dye my hair and curl it? Grow a couple inches and wear tons of makeup? I couldn't do any of that. Josh picked me up and carried me into my room. He got clothes out for me and left the room, allowing me to get changed. I let him in once finished, still crying pretty hard.

"Stay with me until I fall asleep?" I ask as I climb in to bed.

"Of course. I'm not going anywhere." He says. He lays next to me. I lay my head on his chest , still crying. After two panic attacks and crying for an hour, sleep finally found me.

"Jae, you need to talk to him." Connie says. She was walking me home after a long day at school. I never thought that dodging Adam all day would be so exhausting.

"About what? There's nothing to be said now." I say.

"You need to talk to him about how you feel. You broke out in tears three times today out of nowhere. You need to tell him that you like him, that he broke you. Yell at him that Daisy is going to hurt him again. He won't listen to any of us, but I know he will listen to you Jae." She says.

"Fine, walk me to his house." I say rolling my eyes. She smiles happily as she pulls me the opposite way.

The walk only took a couple of minutes which I wasn't happy about.

"Good luck. Call me when you're done." Connie says smiling at me as she walks down the street. I nod my head and knock on the door. Anxiety rushes through me as I wait for the door to open. I was suspecting to see Adam standing at the other side but instead I'm welcomed by Daisy.

"Uh excuse me but who are you?" She asks rather rudely. They were right, she really is a bitch.

"Adam's FRIEND." I say loudly. She rolls her eyes and walks out the door. She gets into a white car that is parked in the drive way. She slams the door shut and quickly drives off.

"Bitch." I mutter to myself.

"Jae! Hey what's up." Adam says overly happy. He was buttoning up his shirt as he stands in the doorway. The thought of what they were doing in there made my stomach hurt.

"Can we talk?" I ask with no emotion at all.

"Yeah come in."He says. His happy persona was pissing me off. How could that 'thing' make him that happy? I wish I could be the reason he was that happy. I walked through the door. I have never been insides Adam's house before.It was a huge house, beautiful house. Charlie told me his parents had their pockets full but I never expected that he meant this kind of rich. He leads me into the living room. I'm guessing no one was home since they were probably getting it on moments before I showed up. I sit down on the couch.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asks sitting next to me. He had this smile that shined so brightly, he was beyond happy. He was staring at me as I stared back with a blank expression.

"I thought you were different." I say. His smiles fades and he looks taken by suprise.

"What?" He asks.

"You heard me, I thought you were different. Make me feel special, helped me through things, I even opened up to you. I told you things I don't even tell Josh or my parents. I trusted you. You told me you were my protector. Told me you were never going to let anyone hurt me. But guess what Adam, you were the one to hurt me. Can't you see that she's going to hurt you? I know I'm not pretty like her but at least I'm not a bitch and I would actually love you unlike her." I say. I let a tear fall down my cheek. He looks like he's about to cry. I feel bad for just a second before his next statement pisses me off even more.

"Don't say that." He says shaking his head. I scoff, rolling my eyes.

"What so you're just gonna defend her? Am I not allowed to have an opinion?" I ask yelling loudly.

"I'm not, I was defending you." He screams back at me.

"Me?" I ask , my voice getting softer.

"You said you weren't pretty and you are. Even more than pretty, you're beautiful Jae. Don't try and convince me that you're not." He says.

"But Adam what about Daisy? You guys are--" I couldn't finish my sentence. He smashes his lips against mine. I never kissed anyone back before but it just came naturally. Sure Matthew has kissed me but I've never kissed him back. Besides , the feeling was much different. I actually enjoyed it. He pulls away smiling.

"I've wanted to do that ever since I met you." He says with a sigh. Suddenly the feeling I had when I was kissing him faded away and I was sad again.

"You have a girlfriend. Do you not understand how much you're hurting me?"I ask, this time fully crying. "You have a girlfriend and you kissed me. And the worst part is I want to do it again!"

"Then kiss me again." He whispers getting close to my face. I push him back.

"No , No I can't." I say. My eyes don't leave his and even though I told him no, I find myself leaning in again. I was addicted to the way I felt during those few seconds when we were kissing. I wanted to feel that way again.

"I can't kiss you." I whisper to him, our faces inches apart.

"Oh really." He smirks at me.

"Shut up." I say. He didn't say anything, he just smirks at me. He leans in and closes the gap between our lips. It was slow and soft,like he was being gentle with me. Kissing him became my new favorite thing. I fear that being addicted to the feeling of his lips would hurt me even more.