Dear Diary. (Jalbert)

5

Dear Diary,

Tonight was definitely a night to remember. It was a Saturday and I already finished my homework so I was just sitting like a fat ass on the couch eating ice cream.

That's when my phone buzzed. Sometimes I forget I have a phone. No one ever texts or calls me other than my mom of course.

I looked at the name and was surprised to see Jake's name. I had put him in my contacts as 'Tall Ass', I call him that a lot.

I opened up the text and he was inviting me to a party. I obviously accepted it but I was still nervous. I rarely ever go out on weekends. Let alone be invited somewhere.

I'm so stupid I don't even know how to dress properly.

Diary, I wish you were alive so you could've helped me in situations like these.

Anyway I had finally gotten my outfit together. I figured I'd go in just a plain black T, ripped black jeans, black shoes and a black watch.

I know I looked like a loser but it was all I had.

I told my parents I'm heading out and they seemed so surprised by my request. They let me go of course and I began making my way over to the address. It wasn't too far of a walk but it was still a bit of ways for my comfort.

After mindlessly walking for about 20 minutes I found the house. I walked in and was immediately struck by the harsh smell of alcohol.

I debated whether or not just leaving but Jake somehow spotted me from far. I think he said hi or something. I couldn't hear him over the loud music playing.

I just stood there in front of him as he danced his troubles away. I awkwardly looked around and saw people staring and whispering about me.

I felt uncomfortable and immediately just wanted to go home. I knew I shouldn't have come. A slow song came on and everyone immediately melted into the romantic melody playing.

I rolled eyes, thinking love was just some sick joke before Jake took my hand.

He dragged me over to where he was and hugged me. I cringed as I rested my head on his shoulder. We swayed for awhile but I just wanted to leave.

This wasn't like me. I needed to go home. Just lock myself in my room and draw. Draw till my hand goes numb over the pain. Listen to my own music until I couldn't even hear myself think. I felt so uncomfortable and out of place.

I just wanted to go home.

Go home and write in you like I am now Diary but I couldn't.

The music stopped playing and I pushed myself away from Jake. Suddenly dozens of people began point at me.

"Gay!" They all yelled. My legs began shaking and I knew what was about to happen. I pushed past everyone and ran. I ran away from everyone and left. I could hear people running after me still screaming and laughing.

I kept running. I didn't look back. All I wanted to do in that most was to just run. Just run away from everything. Run away from life. Just go somewhere and be alone.

I wanted you Diary. I just wanted to ramble on and on about how stupid I am. How much I suck. How ugly and just write about everything.

But I couldn't. You were home alone in my room on my desk next to a bunch of pencils.

I finally stopped running. The loud music and screaming-laughing assholes grew silent.

I was at the beach. I sat down on the cool sand and watched as the waves washed over the shore. It was so peaceful here. The night sky looks beautiful. The stars were dancing about in the sky while the moon watched over me.

It was so nice here. This was where I wanted to be in the moment. Away from civilization. Somewhere where there were no noises. Just the sea crushing among its self.

That's when a familiar face sat next to me. It was Jake as you probably guessed already. He didn't say anything. He just sat with me and watched the water move along.

I wanted to say something but my words couldn't even make it off my tongue.

"I'm sorry." He crocked. I sighed and stared at the grainy sand.

"I-I didn't know. I thought it'd be fun to go to a party with you."

"Partying isn't my thing." I finally spoke.

"I know, I didn't know that." Jake bluntly said. He didn't show much emotion in his voice.

"I'll cya Monday." I got up and dusted myself off from the sand and began walking up the beach side towards the street.

"Albert wait!"

I turned around to see Jake.

"Hm?" I hummed from the distance.

"Be safe alright?"

I nodded in response and continued walking.

My heart thumped as I walked down those damp roads. I'm telling you Diary, that was such an iconic moment that he would go after me just to simply say five sentences. He didn't even mind that I left.

It's amazing I tell you.