The Quiet Ones [g x g]

Chapter 6

We walk back into our rooms, bringing with us a gust of wind and raucous laughter. Caitlyn was floored by the fact that within seconds I knew which panic! song she had chosen, and I knew all the lyrics to every one.
  What can I say?
  Well, I mean, nothing really.
  "So, dude. Isn't it kind of a shame that we're letting that luxurious bed go completely to waste?" Caitlin says.
  I shrug, "Would you rather sleep in it? I'm fine with that, if you want."
  "Dude, no. We already agreed."
  I shrug again, "Hey man, you're the one that wants the bed to be used. And honestly, I'm down with it being used. So I mean, go ahead."
  "I didn't mean me!" Caitlyn protests, "I mean, we're not far away from home. Choose someone I can meet who can come and bunk with us."
  I think for a moment, "Hey, that could work. Plus, Erika's always free, her being socially inept and all."
  Caitlyn snorts, "Honestly same. Yeah, definitely her." She grabs my phone and rings Erika - because, you know, contact names. Erika picks up and Caitlyn speaks to her in hushed tones.
  I lean back into the soft embrace of the couch. It practically cradles me and it is so fucking nice. I'm not sure how I feel about this - social interaction with so many people for so long. It'll be a challenge, that's for fucking sure.
  "So, basically she's coming over now. She's gonna bring food and money too, so it'll be pretty wild," Caitlyn says, finally done with the call.
  I nod with a bored smile, and I know I'm acting kind of like a bitch already, but when I'm uncomfortable what can I say? I want to make everyone else uncomfortable, too. I give her a half-hearted thumbs up and cool beans to make up for it.

  "Hey guys," Erika says, smiling shyly as she slips inside.
  "Hey," I say drily, barely looking up from my phone. "Glad you found us." I know, I know, I'm still being A bitch, but I don't care, so suck it.
  Everything is is silent, everything seems frozen.
  I clear my throat and end my sentence in a whisper, "And stuff." I add awkwardly.
  Caitlyn purses her lips, "So, take a seat, we were listening to music earlier, and let's be honest, music makes everything less awkward."
  Whoop fucking whoop I say and play the Greatest Show. It seems to have lost its luster at this particular moment, which is unfortunate.
  "This song!" Erika shrieks. She then proceeds to practically fucking leap towards Caitlyn and sit extremely close. "I've never seen hair this red. Right Amelia?"
  "Right," I force a smile on my face. Everything seems to be in italics with this girl.
  "Ignore her," Caitlyn says, "She's in a bad mood for some reason." She shrugs, and I swear she winks at Erika unashamedly.
  She probably doesn't know that I'm extremely in these kind of social situations. Then again, I don't think anyone ever notices.
  "Dude," Erika says after a while of braiding Caitlyn's hair, "Is that a Harry Potter book I see?"
  "Yes indeed my dude," I reply, the first I've spoken in hours.
  "So, which of you are reading it?" Erika asks, looking at Caitlyn for an answer.
  Yeah, well, fuck you. "Caitlyn is reading it," I mutter.
  "It's good, isn't it?" Erika asks eagerly at Caitlyn. "How many times have you read it? Has Amelia read it? Hey Amelia, you should read it!"
  "Actually," Caitlyn says, "Amelia Fern has read it many times, and she persuaded me to read it. I haven't started yet."
  Erika looks surprised, "Oh." She says.
  Yeah, well. Fuck me backwards with a stick - of course I've read Harry Potter, what is she thinking?
  "So, um, you haven't ever read Harry Potter before?" She asks in a small voice.
  "Nope. The memo was given the first time. You seem to have missed it," Caitlyn says finally.
  More silence, but at least this time it isn't my fault. Even if it seems more awkward now that I didn't cause it, and I'm just a side effect of it.
  "So, you like Harry Potter?" I ask, turning towards Erika.
  "Yep!" She replies, suddenly beaming. And when I say beaming, I really mean it. Her whole face just lights up and her smile is hella wide.
  It's disconcerting.
  "Hang on, what house are you?" She asks, beginning to gain confidence.
  "Slytherin. And now, I depart. Goodbye," I say, taking my phone and disconnecting the music. I take the keys to Caitlyn's car and end up sitting in the driver's seat, my forehead leaning against the wheel. I am a picture of utter defeat, and to be honest, it's pretty accurate.
  I have no idea why I agreed to this. In fact - I have no idea why I even agreed to come on this trip. I am a weak, weak child. I'm so exhausted, and it's not even from lack of sleep. It's from the effort I've taken not to scream at everyone to shut up. I need peace. It's hard enough being with strangers for so long.
  Any longer that I have to spend on this trip and the trip is going to crash and burn - with me standing triumphantly on top listening to everyone else's wails of torment.
  What a mess.
  "I'm back," I announce to myself quietly into the open air. I suspect they've either gone out or into the bedroom. I suppose I would've noticed them walk past me in the car, but then again, I was too busy having a breakdown to notice.
  Ah, good old breakdowns I've missed you. Really.
  I heave a sigh and collapse on the couch, burying my face under all the pillows. I'm so done with life. So done. I just want to sleep. I am a depressing child, aren't I? Yep. No question, really.
  A thought strikes me, and I frown. I actually have no idea what the time is - for all I know, this mood only comes from lack of sleep. It's a toss up. I could stay buried here, or I could disturb my comfort and reach out to get my phone.
  I never end up getting my phone, or even contemplating it further. I end up falling asleep again.
  I want to die, I want to die, I want to die. Wow, now where have I heard that chant before? Oh yes, everytime I wake up and want to die. Oh wait, that's everyday.
  Now here's the thing - I'm not a big fan of life, but that doesn't exactly mean I'm depressed. I'm just not happy with it. It just seems to have a big fuck you attached every time something good happens. Which is, by the way, pretty shit.
  Dude I used to think life was good. Well, until year 9, that is. In year 9 everything turned to shit and I started to hate everyone and everything in this world. Still do, to this day.
  So yeah, I want to fucking die. And it's only 3am to sweeten the deal even further.
  I drag myself out from my mound of pillows and creep past Caitlyn's sleeping form - it would create unnecessary, awkward questions if I were to wake her. Which isn't exactly something I'm a fan of, so I mean.
  Big day for fans of early mornings, I guess, but go figure.
  I grab some chocolate I packed in case of uncomfortable social situations, but I guess they can also be under the whole unfortunate life situations. Which is all the time.
  I'm going to need a lot of chocolate.