The Quiet Ones [g x g]

Chapter 7

  Erika is already in the tiny kitchenette thing, which is unfortunate. I thought I would be able to avoid the social situations if it was so late.

I mean, at least I have chocolate.

"Can I have some chocolate?" Erika asks.

Oh. "Um, it's kind of for unfortunate social situations, so I mean, sure." I break off a piece and hand it to her. Awkwardly. The adjective with all situations that have Erika in them is awkward.

"Thanks," She says, popping some pieces into her mouth. "So, you should tell me who you like," She says, her mouth full.

"What?" Where the fuck did this come from. "Why?" Even I can hear that my voice is hostile.

"Because," Erika replies simply. "I've asked you before, over the years, and you've never told me."

"And what makes you so obsessive over knowing who I like?" I ask, and now I'm actively making my voice hostile, now.

"I don't know," Erika replies in a soft voice, and I freeze up.

Oh god, I'm actually doing this. I'm talking to someone I don't know, and I'm being rude. This is why I can't do this. This is why I should get my speaking permit taken away from me.

Oh god, kill me now.

"Sorry, I just don't see how this is relevant. We barely know each other - we're not friends. I don't see why we need have anything to do with one another." I say. I'm frantically trying to find purchase on the fine line between rudeness and firm confidence. Problem is, I only have experience with one of those.

You guessed it folks - rude.

"Sorry," She says quietly. "It's just - I don't like this feeling. You unsettle me, and I really don't like it."

I bark out a short laugh, "I unsettle you? Dude, everyone unsettles me. Suck it up, princess. Or do you not want dirt on your pretty hands?" I lean forward conspiratorially, "The dirt is misery." It's kind of a meme for me. I don't really mean it. I'm not usually so eloquent, or - I don't know, poetic? Metaphorical? Doesn't matter. Erika doesn't know that anyway.

Erika looks surprised, and it kind of feels good. She looks almost scared.

"But sure, if its who I like that you want to talk about, go right ahead."

Erika looks slightly uncomfortable, but she continues talking all the same, "Is it Pierce? I know you hang out with him a lot. No? Okay, what about Sam? Not Sam? Huh, you seem close." She continues listing off guys from our school. Well, I mean, not exactly guys. Sam isn't a guy, more like the Nonbinary of your Nightmares.

I laugh again, although I hear the change in my tone. It's amused. Somewhat pitying, but still amused.

"What?" Erika asks, sounding offended.

"Nothing, it's just - it's none of those."

Erika frowns suspiciously, "No, there's something else. There is definitely something you're not telling me. So tell me. Please."

"I'm a lesbian."

Erika's face closes off - she looks shocked, "Oh. Oh."

I smile awkwardly, "Yep. So, uh, I'm gonna take my chocolate and go. See ya." I take my chocolate and go. And when I say go, I mean leave. As fast as humanly possible.

Or at least - as fast as humanly possible for a very non-athletic person. Who is, in fact, me.

So I burrow back under all the pillows and attempt to go back to sleep. Except sleep is a bitch and is being very unhelpful. In fact, it's avoiding me altogether.