Ugh [Peter Parker]

Say It

The scream that escaped from your lips had to have been loud- it caught the attention of damn near everyone walking the streets around you. Your foot was practically screaming at you, throbbing awfully inside of your shoe. Had he really just done that? Oh god- he was your soulmate? He was Spider-Man?! This was just- how the hell?! Peter was just a normal guy- at least he seemed like it. He wasn't popular but he was insanely smart. You didn't really know him but- oh fuck. You could feel it now.

The pull.

You felt everything you were supposed to feel when you first met him. This was the proper meeting- the face to face meeting. You could see him now- could see these soft brown eyes meant only for you, pooling with some emotion you couldn't quite read yet. You could see his soft looking brown curls- his pink lips and slightly freckled skin. It was over now- running and hiding wouldn't be so easy anymore. You knew who he was now and you both went to the same school. You wouldn't be able to ignore the pull, no one could. You'd heard how it was described, some sort of internal yearning for your soulmate when they were around but not close enough. It was undeniable- unforgettable even, and now you felt it. This wasn't fair- why did he have to do this?

With another yell, you moved your throbbing foot back and swung it forward, kicking the wall nearest to you, causing him to hiss across from you.

"Ow! What the hell- my foot already hurts!"

"Good! Let it hurt! Jesus christ that was so unnecessary! I told you my pain tolerance isn't like yours!", you shouted at him, gaining looks from people around you.

"What else was I supposed to do-"

"Oh I don't know- maybe try talking!? Maybe say, Hey! I'm your soulmate, I'm Sp-!"

"Shh!", he cut you off, "Not out loud!"

"How did you even find me- did you stalk me home?! That's so-"

"No! No I didn't! A paper fell out of your bag and- I recognized your name! You sit in front of me in our English class! I-I just- I couldn't stay away!", he rushed out, panicked.

"Well- maybe you should have.", you hadn't meant to sound so harsh- you were just frustrated. Your soulmate was Peter Parker, a super-hero who also doubled as a regular teenage boy. Still- he wasn't normal enough- you didn't feel strong enough. Not for this life the world expected for you.

"What? You can't honestly mean that- we're soulmates! We were literally made for each other-"

"I wasn't meant for this life! Don't you get that Peter?"

His breath caught in his throat- from your words and the way his name sounded coming from your lips. It was the first time he'd heard it from you and it sounded lovely. More more more- he wanted more- but you wouldn't give him more would you?, "Yes you were! Why else would the world put us together?!"

"I don't know! Maybe it made a mistake! You said you know of people who have no soulmates- so who says the world can't make a mistake or two?!", you didn't even know what you were saying really. Was it possible for the world to mistakenly put the wrong people together? Was this a mistake?

He laughed, it sounded bitter and it made your chest ache. You hurt him. "A mistake?", he laughed again, this one was shaky, "I can't- god. All this dreaming- this wanting and.. you think that this- that we're.. a mistake?"

"I-I'm not saying that just- I don't think I'm strong enough for this- for you. Don't you get that? I am as normal as normal gets and you? You just- you're.. you're him. You have these amazing abilities and- god so many people- bad people, want you dead. If-If I'm with you, they'll want me dead too. If anyone ever found out- and trust me people have their ways, they'd use me to hurt you. I already feel your pain- emotional or otherwise. I just- can you live a life like that? Can you-"

"If I have someone who loves me, someone to fight for and come home to? Yes. You looked shocked when you saw me, when you recognized me. Do you really think people will find me out that easy?", he asked.

"I don't know. I just- I know if the world needs saving, you'll go save it, even if it costs you your life. I'm not strong enough for that. I never will be. I don't want to get to know you- to fall for you and all you are, if you're just going to end up leaving me like that. I just can't."

"And what if that never happens? What if we let our whole lives pass us by, in fear of something that might never happen?"

You huffed, "But what if it does? Huh? I'll have all these memories- all these things and- not you. The world would be well and good- but I'll hate it. I'll be so angry- not me. I can't, Peter. This- it's a mistake. I'm not for you. I'm just not."

"You don't mean that-"

"I do! I'm not for you! We're just not right!", you were being selfish and you knew it- you could feel it- but god you weren't ready for this. You'd seen him- you knew you'd love him. Some part of you, deep down inside, already did. You could feel it- but you weren't ready. You weren't sure if you ever would be. This was crazy- how was he yours?How?

"You are! You're for me and I'm for you! Why won't you just let it happen?! What's so wrong with me?!", he was hurt, you could hear it in the way his voice cracked. You were denying him- calling this a mistake. He knew it wasn't a mistake- he felt that it wasn't. You both were tied for a reason- there was no way it was a mistake.

"I'm not-"

"You are! You think I don't have the same fears?! You think I don't already fear that with the friends and family I have?! My Aunt lost her soulmate! He wasn't him, but he died anyway! It's not fair- life isn't fair and it never has been to me! I grow up thinking I have no soulmate- then I finally meet her and she doesn't even want me! You don't want me- regardless of if you're scared or not, you don't want me! Admit it!"

Another sudden confession, this one shocking you into silence again. You could feel his hurt. It was an ache in your chest and it made you feel worse. Did you want him? Of course. But did you tell him?

"Just say it. Say it and I'll go."

You stayed silent. Could you say it?

"Say it!"