Ugh [Peter Parker]

At Last

For the longest time, nothing was said. You both just stared at each other, soaking in one anothers presence. He didn't think he'd get to be so lucky. 'Just a graze', he remembered thinking. 'Just a fucking graze- thank god.' The amount of blood from said graze was insane. He was sure that if you weren't going to die from being shot- you'd certainly die from blood loss. However, when he felt your pain, he was so relieved. Yes, it hurt pretty badly, but you weren't dead. He'd bear any injury for as long as he had to if it meant you weren't dead.

Oh thank god you weren't dead.

"You're crazy, you know that?", he said at last, being the one to break the silence.

You couldn't disagree. It was true- a gun was pointed to your face, and yet you decided to be brave and try to take it or at the least push it away. "Yeah. I know, but so are you."

He deadpanned for a second, "Really? Me? I have super-powers. I have an obligation to use them for better things. I'm not crazy. God- just a week or so ago, you were lecturing me about being careful. You were telling me that what I do is dangerous, and then you go do that? Really?"

"If you had left, that old woman would have been robbed and someone else might have been shot.", you stated, as if it was simple math or something. Truthfully, you were just angry in the moment. Angry and scared. That man was playing on everyone's fear. It was like some sick game to him and you hated it. Were all criminals like that?

"I wasn't going to leave-"

"You were thinking about it."

"What else could I have done? My webs are only so fast. One flick of my wrist and he could've already shot you! I just- that- he- you don't understand, [Y/n]. I lost someone already by not being fast enough- by not being there on time. I couldn't.. I couldn't lose you like that too I-.. I froze up..", he looked down. The whole time he'd been waiting for you to wake up, he had wanted to be angry with you. He wanted to yell until his throat was raw and the walls shook. He wanted to be so livid with you- but he couldn't. You weren't who he was truly mad at. He was mad at himself. If he had just stayed like his gut told him to- if he had reacted faster, had a better grip on his Spider-Sense, you wouldn't be here. You'd be fine. You'd be at home, cozy in your bed and soft pajamas. Instead, you were here. You were in this hospital, in a stiff hospital bed with thin sheets and a lumpy pillow. Stuck in the clothes you wore to school, with a bandage wrapped around your head and some of your hair shaven off. Your fingers were caked with your own dried blood- as was some of your neck and the front of your shirt. The back too. You looked like hell- and he'd caused it.

"Anyone would have, Peter. It's a normal reaction-"

"I'm not normal! I'm supposed to be a hero- I'm supposed to be strong! I was supposed to have handled that better and.. I didn't. I just- I was so scared for you. I barely know you- I know, but I was so damn scared, [Y/n]...", his voice picked up a little, but dropped to a whisper towards the end of his words. He still refused to look at you.

"I was scared too.", you admitted softly.

He shook his head, "Anyone in your position would be-"

"I wasn't just scared for me. Yeah, it was a big part, but I was scared for everyone else too. For you.", you said, he finally looked up at you when you mentioned him. His expression was confused.

"For me? I was fine-"

"If I died you wouldn't have been. If anyone in that room including me, got hurt, you wouldn't have been fine. I got hurt, you're not fine. You could've been shot. You would've let yourself get shot if it meant saving everyone else. That's scary. It's what I don't want- but now I understand it. I understand it all. Why you do what you do..", you took a breath, debating on how to say what you needed, "Why.. why the universe put us together.."