Ugh [Peter Parker]

Lie

"Say it!"

Could you say it? Could you look your soulmate straight in his eyes and lie? 'You don't want me'- what bullshit. You did want him, you wanted to get to know him and fall for all the little things he had to offer. He was made for you- he was yours. However- this life, it didn't seem right for you. It didn't seem fair. You kept repeating it to yourself in your head, readying yourself to do something you would never be able to undo.

"I don't want you."

There, you'd said it- only, he didn't hear you. Hell, you didn't even hear yourself say it- had you said it? You were sure you had, you even felt the words leaving your lips, soft and shaky, unsure. Then how had you not heard them- why wasn't he reacting the way you feared he would? Surely hearing you say that would break his heart- and no, you didn't want to do it- but what other choice did you have? You weren't ready for this- you refused to set yourself up for such a loss. You didn't even know him, but you could imagine what that pain was like. You could see how much you'd scream and cry if you were forced to feel him die- forced to feel all his pain fade away from you and leave you forever. You could imagine just how much you'd hate the world for taking him from you- for allowing him to sacrifice himself for the greater good. You weren't built for this-

But then again, no one was-

Sirens.

You could hear sirens, loud and blaring. They had overpowered your voice, and so that's why he hadn't heard you. He hadn't seen your mouth form the words either, he was too busy looking elsewhere. Spider-Man was needed right now..

"Go!", you shouted at him, making him turn to look at you with a frown.

"I-"

"Go, Peter! Go!", you cut him off, turning swiftly to walk away, only stopping to call out, "And be careful, dammit! I'd like to take a nap when I get home!"

Just like that, you were running from him again. Half relieved he hadn't heard you- yet half mad as well. What were you going to do? He was going to find you again- or worse, you'd both stumble into each other. The world worked in weird ways, and if it wanted you two together, it would do everything in it's power to do so. It would do anything and everything to get you to fall for him- all because you were supposed to. Why though? Why you? Why had the stars and universe decided you needed to be with him- that you needed to forever live in fear of losing your soulmate. Now you really truly wished your tie to him had been something else- anything else. Maybe then imagining it wouldn't hurt as bad. A scar surely wouldn't be as bad as feeling empty forever. A black and brittle string wouldn't ache so much- right? The emptiness would haunt you till your very last breath. You couldn't imagine going on without feeling some sign of him there. Even now, you were sure you'd go nuts if you didn't so much as feel him stub his toe or something. You knew that now you'd be hyper-aware of any pain you felt no matter what.

Why were soulmates so complicated- at least for you? Your parents were happy as ever, wonderfully content with their matching tattoo symbols. Your Mother didn't have to worry about your Father risking his life. Your Grandparents were happy too, fondly smiling at their timers that read 00:00:00:00:00:00 and recalling the day they'd met. They didn't have to worry about that either- didn't have to wonder if the world made a mistake. Had it? Up until a few days ago he didn't know you existed. He thought he was going to end up alone...

Could you really do this to him? It was obvious he'd seen the sadder side of soulmates. He'd seen people without one- had an Aunt who lost hers randomly.

"Life isn't fair and it never has been to me!", he'd said. "He wasn't him, but he died anyway!", he'd told you.

He'd been hurt. He'd lost someone near and dear to him- and now he probably thought he was going to lose you too. You couldn't.. you couldn't do this to him. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right- but what about you? How would you ever be able to deal with this? How-

You hissed loudly in pain, feeling your chest take a hit. Fuck- he couldn't just at least give you a chance to reach your apartment? You were only a few blocks- ow! Holy shit it felt like you were being slammed into something. Your chest was killing you- christ- had he broken his sternum? It felt like- ouch- there went your side. It felt like you'd been sliced at with something. You cringed now, feeling wet and sticky along your side.

He was bleeding.

'Ugh- you damned idiot!', you thought to yourself. Why was he always getting hurt? Always- damn, you had to hide now. The pain was getting worse and you were sure you'd scream any minute now. This led you to scramble into the nearest alleyway. You went in far enough to be unseen by people passing by- but still close enough to be heard if you needed to be. Being in a New York alleyway wasn't really the best place to be, at least not as far as safety went. For right now, it didn't matter- you had to hide out here. You didn't know if this would get worse or-

You let out a yelp- it felt like you were being thrown into something again, hard. What was he doing- fuck- you crashed into something again. No, not you, but him- you felt it. He was in a lot of pain and he was bleeding. Move- get up and go- show me you're okay.. somehow..

You were so in your own thoughts you didn't register the figure that landed next to you with a hard thud. This figure barely moved- save for shallow breaths and the twitching of fingers as they reached for you. You wouldn't have noticed this figure if it hadn't gripped a piece of your shirt and tugged slightly- you probably would've ended up leaving if it hadn't.

Luckily it did- and once you registered who it was and why, you were screaming again. Half scared and half angry.

He was always finding you at the worst of times..