"Why did you kiss me?" I asked that question five minutes ago and Abel still hadn't answered me. He stands and stares out the window while I sit on the sofa watching him.
It's driving me insane. I need to know. I scowl at the back of his head as I wait on bated breath for his answer. His reflection goes through a variety of emotions. Frustration, pain, anger, and sadness flit about his beautiful face.
What could he be thinking? I'm unable to focus on anything else. This is my fault. I shouldn't have asked. I should have let it be. I should have enjoyed our nonsensical discussion on who would survive a zombie apocalypse.
Now I sit here and wait. Wait for Abel to speak. For him to tell me what he's thinking. I tap my feet as my hand dives deep into my pocket to touch my phone strap. I pull it out and examine the cherub looking doll with lime green hair.
My thumb circles the jewel in the center of its stomach. It's all I can do not to pull my hair out or at the very least throw the remote at the back of Abel's head. Finally, Abel turns to face me. His face looks conflicted.
"I don't know," he says. The wind is knocked out of me. What do I say to him? Disappointment fills the now empty space that was once filled with hope. Abel looks down at his feet, avoiding my eyes.
I sit there on the sofa and think. Every one of my decisions is rejected. I can't handle this. My mother was a master of delivering false hope. I don't know how many times I waited and waited for a woman who never showed. The countless times I had to make excuses why my mother was the only parent that didn't show.
Now, I sit here going through the same thing with Abel. I really did hope. My hand hits the seat cushion. The remote falls to the floor and the unmistakable sound of breaking follows.
Abel looks up, his face a mask of pain and anger. What did he have to be angry about? I'm the one who heart is breaking. I stand. Abel lips part. He's preparing to say something. I don't want to hear it.
It's my turn to talk.
"What do you mean you don't know?" My voice is firm as I say each word. Abel studies my face but remains silent. "Well?"
He takes a deep breath and walks over to the sofa where my feet holds me in place. His hand grabs mine and I pull away. Abel grabs at my hand again. He flops down on the couch pulling me down beside him.
"I like you Nicca. I do. I find myself constantly thinking about you. I just..." He stops and again his eyes wander over to stare out the open window. He turns back.
"Feeling this way is wrong. Right? I mean I'm not gay or anything. I like girls, I just can't figure out why I feel this way when I look at you...or even think about you. Men should be with women. That's the way the world works. Yet."
He pulls me closer and leans forward in an attempt to kiss me. His lips brush the side of my mouth as I turn my head away. He frowns and lean forward to try again.
I push him away and get up from the sofa. I keep myself from stomping as I walk away. it's my turn to be mesmerized by the scenery outside.
I can't do this again. One betrayal was enough. The memory of my first boyfriend kicking and punching me is still fresh. I won't allow myself to go through this again.
Abel is walking over to me. He stands behind me and waits for me to acknowledge him.
"I'm sorry. I'm not sure how I hurt you, but I'm really sorry Nicca." His arms wrap around me and he hugs me to him. I want to pull away. His arms tighten their hold keeping me in place.
"You should leave Abel," I tell him.
"I won't. We need to talk about this. Isn't that what you wanted."
أنت تقرأ
Simply Sinful (Boyxboy)
قصص عامةNicca Aisling has a complicated life. He's never lived anywhere for longer than a few months. He has his mother and her philandering ways to thank for that. Nova Aisling has made it her lifelong goal to find true love even if it's at the expense of...
