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"Come on baby girl, please stop crying. I'm doing everything I can, just please go to sleep."

You pace around the bedroom with your screaming newborn nestled into your chest. Being only 3 weeks old, everything is still terrifyingly new but you're determined to be the best mother possible. Even if that means waking up every hour to comfort your child.

"Shhh, momma's got you Ariella, you're okay."

Burying her face in her tiny little hands, Ariella's cries slowly fade into whimpers and you breathe a sigh of relief.

"That's it baby, there you go" you whisper, still too scared to stop your movements.

Never in your life did you think that at age seventeen you would be looking after a baby rather than being out late with friends and going to parties. But although you never imagined this life for yourself, you wouldn't have it any other way now that you've got your little girl in your arms. Regardless of all the backlash you've received, it's insignificant when you look at your daughter. She is worth every single bit of hate.

Yes it's exhausting. Yes it's draining, and yes you feel so incredibly sad most of the time. But it's moments like this where she finally settles in your arms that you feel like you're doing something right. You've spent so much time over the past nine months feeling like such a failure. You failed your parents by being irresponsible. You failed yourself by ruining your future - or so you thought. Turns out, Ariella is your future.

"Everything okay Y/N?" a voice whispers into the darkened room, and you look over to see your mother peeking her head in.

"Yeah, she just won't sleep" you reply, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and insecure. Yes you turned her cries into whimpers but she's still upset and nothing you do seems to be helping.

"Oh baby girl, don't get upset. It'll only make Ariella upset too."

"She's already upset and I can't fix it" you sob, feeling your mother lift the newborn from your arms.

"You'll get there Y/N, I promise" your mom replies while rocking Ariella gently in her arms.

"I feel like the worst mother ever. I'm not meant to do this mom, she doesn't settle with me."

Burying your face in your hands, you sit on the edge of your bed and cry. You hate the depressive places your mind seems to take you since giving birth. Everything still aches, you don't feel like you're in your own body anymore. And knowing you can't even make your own child feel better is like a twisting knife in your chest.

"It takes time Y/N" your mom explains, and you feel the bed dip a little as she sits next to you. "I was the exact same when you arrived. You took forever and a day to settle with me. You always settled for your dad more than me."

"Yeah well, my child doesn't even have a dad" you mutter, forcing down the lump in your throat.

"She doesn't need him. He wasn't man enough to step up and care for his child therefore he isn't needed. You guys will manage just fine without him" your mom says sternly, it's still a touchy subject.

When your dad found out about the pregnancy, you honestly thought he was going to go over to Chris' house and beat him up. Thankfully your mom stepped in and calmed him down. It was difficult to even look your dad in the eye at first. I mean you were his little girl, having your own little girl. You didn't blame him for how he reacted.

Ariella lets out another ear piercing cry, causing you to jump out your thoughts.

"When did you last try feeding her?" your mom asks while ushering you to scoot up to the head of the bed before bringing over your nursing pillow.

"A few hours ago. It hurt really bad though and I needed a break" you admit, still feeling embarrassed talking to your mom about breastfeeding.

"I know you're sick of me saying this but it gets easier. It'll get easier the more you push through it as well, try again baby."

Handing your baby back to you, your mom helps to get Ariella situated while you unbutton your nursing top. You feel your cheeks flush with embarrassment as your mother helps to position Ariella's head to your breast.

"Stop that Y/N, what you're doing right now is one of the most beautiful things in the world. Don't be embarrassed because I'm seeing a boob" your mom giggles, causing you to chuckle a little at her choice of words.

You look down and exhale once you feel Ariella begin to feed. It still really hurts, but you know you have to try and relax in order for your daughter to relax as well. You remember learning that from the midwife at the hospital.

"See, all she wanted was some cuddles from her mommy and a feed, you've got this" your mom encourages, and you meet her gaze with glossed over eyes.

"Thank you" you whisper, closing your eyes as your mom wipes away your tears before sitting beside you.

"It's what I'm here for Y/N. You may have a baby but you'll always be my little girl" she replies, kissing you softly on your head.

⚪️⚪️⚪️ Liked by wilmervalderrama, ynvalderrama and 6,215,978 othersddlovato My girls💕View all 453,565 commentsynvalderrama I love you so much, thank you for teaching me how to be the best mom

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⚪️⚪️⚪️ Liked by wilmervalderrama, ynvalderrama and 6,215,978 others
ddlovato My girls💕
View all 453,565 comments
ynvalderrama I love you so much, thank you for teaching me how to be the best mom.
diannadelagarza You've got me crying!!

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