Shattered

Just pretend

*Erykah Pov

"Erykah you been in this room for 3 days straight without nothing to eat, nobody to talk to, and I'm really starting to worry" my mom comes in

"I'm fine mama" I lied

"No, cause you sound like your not. I know Greg came over but I saw him leave early with no explanation, what's that about?" she sat down and asked

I sighed and turned over to see her.

"Oh my god Erykah what the hell is that in your face?" She pressed her hand up against the bruise Patrick gave me from earlier

"I fell out remember?"

"Yeah but.....i didn't see that there earlier....ERYKAH ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF?!?"

"No mama! you just didn't see it there."

"Uh uh, I'm scheduling you a appointment to go see a psychologist." she says

"Why?!?" I yelled

"Because lately you've been acting very strange. I don't know what it is but as your mother I want to find out. whatever it is Erykah please don't hide nothing from me because I love you and I would never want you to feel horrible or upset from something." she explained

I started to tear up cause I just wanted to scream everything out

after pinning down my thoughts from being  released i grabbed my mama hand.

"Mama I know your concerned but I'm fine.Seriously stop worrying. " I told her calmly

it burned me to my soul to sit up here and lie to my own Mother. I can't explain how much it's beating me inside to keep this discrete.

"Well come out the room, come help me make dinner and play with your little brother. besides I need to ask you something serious" she says

"What is it?" I asked

"come with me and I'll ask you"

"fine" I said in a low toned and followed her out of the room and into the kitchen

As much as I didn't want to , I helped my mom cook as she started going on about her and my real father. I didn't want to here it. The reminder of him is hurtful and nothing but unresolved grief.

"I'm so in love Erykah,  it's just amazing" she brags

I shook my head and walked over to Eden and picked him up out of the play pin and put him in his high chair.

"You just met this guy, how can you be in love ?" I questioned

"Cause the way Patrick Makes me feel is incredible. I want this forever" she replies

"Speaking of Patrick,  I've been thinking Erykah,  I was wondering about moving." she says and i turned around  looked at her in shock. 

"moving as in...?"  i questioned

"like us moving into a bigger home with patrick." she says happily but i was most defintly scared.

"i dont think thats a good idea mama, i think your moving to fast with him."

"i think were doing just fine, He is willing to do alot of sacrafices for us Erykah, why cant you just  accept him. All he wants is to take care of us"

"no mama all he wants is to take care of, is YOU. He dont care about me or Eden."

"He does care. A bigger shelter, i can have more money, Eden needs a bigger crib,new clothes, and alot more and patrick is willing to pay for those things if you just let him" she explains.