Shattered

hiding behind blood

I wasn't happy at all about this movement.  I didn't like that my mother was moving  in  with this rapist and falling in love with him. I'm trying my very best to keep my sanity but I don't know how long I can take his demonic ways.

"That's the last thing hun?"

"Yeah baby , the movers are finished with this place finally"

"I'm so happy to be moving in with you, you have no idea how big of deal this is for me. For the longest i was lonely and unhappy inside.  I kept that from showing from my kids for so long and now that your here i have never been so happy. " she said to him.

My mom didn't know I was listening but I heard every word.

I walked into the empty living room watching them kiss and make out.

I wanted to take a match, light it, and burn Patrick.  Watch him melt. 

I passed by and purposely bumped them.  That bitch nigga got my mom under a spell. I hate him with a passion.

I walked into the driveway and got in the car with eden in his car seat speaking jibberish

I unlocked his car seat and grabbed him and placed him on my chest. He clung on to me and laid on my chest.

"I know you don't understand a word I'm telling you eden, but honestly your the only one I feel comfortable talking to you about what's going on. Mommy has found a new guy. She's all in love and happy for him. She has never been this happy and I'm proud that she has this joy she been wanting but what About us? This new guy...is doing stuff to me I don't like and cannot stand. I want mama to be happy but I feel like I'm loosing myself in the same sentence. I don't know how long I can go on with this.... fear.  This terrible feeling that's tearing me apart inside,  it's agonizing.  Your my baby brother though.  I don't want to see you get hurt by him. That's when I'll really loose it and go insane.  We're moving in with him now. But don't worry , I'll protect you the best way I can.  I'll make sure you are safe and unharmed from this nasty man. I'll just have to keep on sacrificing.  You been through a lot for a 16 month year old. I promise i won't let nothing happened to you" I cried as I spoke.

I saw my mom and Patrick walk out the house hand in hand.

I gently placed a sleeping Eden back into his car seat and locked it. I wiped my face and plugged my headphones into my ear.

They came inside the car  and said something to me but I didn't show them no care.

The movers signaled they were pulling off and we begin to follow them. I looked at the house one last time and shredded a tear. My dad left us to this bullshit. It's just not fair.

About 15 minutes later we arrived at this 3 story brick house. It looked like one of them houses that be on mtv cribs. It had a black fence squared around it.

My first thought is, what the he'll is a grown ass man living In a huge house like this by yourself.

I grabbed Eden out of his car seat and carried him into the house.

"How many rooms are there mom? " I asked

"Well Patrick told me  it's 5 bedrooms,  and 3 bathrooms. Give me eden so I can get him settled , and you work on moving in your things." She took eden from Mr and walled into another room where the movers were going into.

I rolled my eyes and walked outside and focused on helping them move in.

It took hours and hours but everything was all in.

I was in my new room putting up posters and Un packing my dressers.

"Honey" my mom came in holding eden

He looked so cute with his pacifier In his  mouth and had toy on hand.

"Yes?" I asked

"How's the unpacking going? " she asked

"It's fine" I said dryly

"I made dinner, if you wanna come down and eat. It's your favorite.  Chicken pasta." She says

"No, I'm gonna stay here and unpacked" I said

"Ok... but if you do get hungry , food is in the fridge. "

"Yeah" I turned my back and started taking out more poster's.

"I love you" she says

I paused for a minute.

"I love you too mama" I said with a sighed.

"Patrick is going to take you to school tomorrow, cause he is going to work on your truck"

"Mom, I'm going to walk" I tell her

"No ma'am your not.  You don't know your way out of this neighborhood and I refused to let my 17 year old daughter walk alone. "

"Then I'll call chyna to come get me"

"Chyna is very reckless"

"Then I just won't go to school. "

"Yes you will. You already missed to many days when you passed out. You have a perfect opportunity to get to know him  and your not taking it."

"You don't understand" I said

"Understand what?!?!"

"That I'm not happy!  I'm not happy here ! Or at school! Or anywhere.  Lately all you been about is patrick! Patrick!  Patrick!  What about me mama! I made you happy too!"

"I never said you didn't Erykah"

"Yes you did. Earlier today you told him  you've never been so happy now that he's here. Like me and eden was some big problem to you. You don't know this man the way you think you do. Your letting him tear us apart!" I cried

"Erykah-"

"Dad... dad wouldn't want this! He would hate this."

"Your daddy isn't around and barley has. Patrick is doing more for me then him. "

"There you go talking about patrick! You know what just leave alone"

"Fine, but sooner or later you will have to adjust to this" she says and walked off

She is fucking delusional behind him.

******

*next day*

I had chyna come pick me up and we drove to school

"You've been really distant from us Erykah are you ok?" She asked

"Yeah that injury just put me in a real melow flow. I'm sorry "

"It's fine, I just want you to feel better. Greg been looking for you, he's taking tall break up harsh"

"I'll try to talk to him" I said

"Why did yall break up? "

"Cause , we just....it was over something I can't even remember,  look Ima just talk to you later" and with that I walked down the hall and into the gymnasium.

I saw Greg sitting on the bleachers jamming to his music.

I took a seat next to him and he took out his ear plugs.

"Can we go somewhere private to talk?" I asked

"About? "

"There's something I wanna tell you"

------------

Damn how Greg gone take it when she tells him ?

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Thanks for reading

~corrections in progress

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~xoxoxo Tyvia