Shattered

scared

*Erykah

*hours later

Dear diary,

Its been awhile since I've wrote in this old thing but... There's something I need to express in here that I feel no one will understands. First off today was the worst day in my life. My mothers boyfriend keeps on raping me. Keeps on touching me, keeps on sexually beating me. I don't see Erykah when I look into a mirror.... I see blood and tears. I see myself  replay the moments where he has touch me. I see the devil killing my soul. I keep on asking god... How long do I have to sacrafice to protect? How long do I have to suffer, as much as I would love to be free from this sickening bitch, I'm stuck. Days are passing by and the more I hold this in, the more I wanna give up. My boyfriend life  is in jeopardy because of me letting him know how I feel... I may wake up tomorrow to him being murdered, to him being abducted, to him being completely gone... I'm becoming weaker and weaker... One day I won't be able to protect my love ones anymore, I'll be all withered out, and just out of energy. I'll loose hope and fall away. Maybe it will be for the best but I just can't take another threat from him. Its forever hold my peace.. ..maybe if I'm still here I'll come back and let you know how I'm doing, that's if I haven't gave up.