Mr. Babydoll and the journals of his inner blizzard [peterick]

XVII

"Let's go to the Christmas market again." Hayley suggested, her eyes sparkling. I coughed into my scarf.
No one really said anything.
"Oh come on guys, it's gonna be great!" Hayley tried again. "I don't really celebrate Christmas. But I would come along anyway." Gabe said.

What an apple polisher.

"What about you, Pete?" Her voice raised a bit at the end. She wouldn't allow an excuse. "Maybe."

She looked at me from the side. "Are you okay?"
I sniffed. "Yeah."
"You know, you can bring Patrick with you, if you like." she said and I heard Joe taking a sharp breath. I looked at Hayley and smiled. "Yeah, I could do that."

So after work I found myself at the telephone cabin again. I still don't have a phone. "We wanna go to the Christmas market tomorrow. You wanna come too?"
Patrick laughed softly. "Uhm..sure? I didn't have any plans anyway. But you have to promise me something, Pete."
I clenched the phone and every sound around me died. "And what is that?" I asked. "Let's not have pancakes. I'm sick of the bare sight."
I laughed, maybe too loud. "No problem."

"See ya."

Maybe life isn't that bad after all. Or at least sometimes. Me and Patrick could become friends and I would have a chance to get rid of my feelings. They're ridiculous, I'm ridiculous. But it's going to be okay.

That's what I told myself at least five times the next day as we were on our way to the market. Gabe told us funny stories about his time as a Boy Scout. I mean, the way he told them was funny. The stories themselves were kind of concerning. But they're all having a good time, so it's probably okay the way it is.

Patrick was already there. I saw him first. Or let's say I was the only one who saw anything at all. He was on his phone. Hayley, Joe and Gabe were still pretty busy with themselves. "And they taught us to salute and I accidentally slammed my elbow in some other dude's face." I heard Gabe say.

It's going to be okay. It's going to be fine. I'm fine. No reason to start a fuss.

"Hello Patrick!" Hayley greeted him and he looked up from his phone.

I'm not going to be fine, what the hell.
"Hey." Patrick said shyly and his hands were buried deep inside his pockets. I wish he wouldn't be so uncomfortable. I wish I wouldn't be such a coward.

"I really crave some fruit punch right now." Gabe mentioned. And everyone seemed to relate. The market was a lot more crowded than last time, so we had to push ourselves trough the crowd in a line.
-

Gabe sighed satisfied after taking a sip from the punch. "This is the best part of these places."
Hayley sat down on the backrest of a bench and rested her feet on the seat. Didn't think she'd be such a rebel. "Okay guys, it's about time we really plan our little festive meeting. We have enough snacks and I can provide us with drinks too. Someone wants to be responsible for music?" she looked around the group. Gabe raised his hand. "You would do that? Cool, alright what else do we need?"

"Please don't even dare to play 'last Christmas'. I can't stand that song." Joe let us know. Gabe smiled mischievously.
"How about secret santa?" he suggested afterwards.
That was the moment where I was ready to strangle him. Not secret santa.
Everything, but not secret santa. This can never end well.

"I think that's a neat idea." Patrick said.
Goddamn, I still think you're cute and all, but come on!

Hayley smiled approvingly at Gabe then at Patrick. "You know what? That's great. I really like that, how about you guys?" the question was aimed at me and Joe and that means I basically lost because Joe will do and say the same thing as always. He shrugged carelessly "I don't mind."
And that's what he did and of course I don't wanna be the dumb killjoy, so I did the same, saying: "sure why not."