Mr. Babydoll and the journals of his inner blizzard [peterick]

XIX

With a clashing sound another bottle hit the ground, missing the pool water by a few inches. "Ah shit." Gerard cussed while contemplating the mess he just created. The alcoholic liquid formed a decent sized puddle and a unsettling smell. It reminded me of train station bathrooms for some reason. Gerard, however, didn't even attempt to clean up the mess. He just smiled back at me.

"What d'you think?...If we let it fall from the balcony?" He grabbed another bottle, god knows how many he still has left, and pointed at a balcony above his pool. "It would plunge into the water like a rocket!" he explained excitedly and started making noises which I assumed where supposed to represent the sound of a launching rocket.

"You're embarrassingly drunk." I stated and he laughed and said: "So are you!"

So we went inside and onto his balcony, laughing like idiots. It was a day of December, the 26th to be precise. It was pretty warm and pretty early. Winter and sun formed a strange atmosphere built out of blue and yellow.
Gerard handed me a beer bottle. "Throw it!" And I knew, I might as well throw a bunch of bank notes out of a window, but in this particular moment it didn't matter. I winded up and launched the bottle straight into the pool. There was a dull plunk and water splashed everywhere. I could hear Gerard cheer behind me.

It was his turn now, but he missed the pool completely and the bottle flew over it and landed in a group of bushes. "Jesus Christ, you can't aim for shit!" I exclaimed between laughing. My words didn't hurt him at all. He just smiled and leaned over the balcony. "Fuck, It landed straight in Mikey's garden."

"You mean those bushes?"

"I think I just killed his raspberries." Gerard realised. "Oh well, the last few summers had been way too hot for them anyway. They had no chance to begin with."

He took another bottle and opened it. I knew I should stop him from drinking it, but I didn't. It really wasn't my business, was it?

"I'm glad you're here." he said, without looking at me. "You're the kind of person everyone needs in their lives." He gulped down some of his drink.

"Always." I replied, watching a tiny bird hopping on the ground near the pool.

"You know, Mikey likes you too."

"Sure."

"You misunderstood. He likes you like...like really."

"Like what?"

I don't know why I was still asking. I didn't want to know. I really didn't want to know. The bird spread its tiny wings and flew away. I wish I could do the same. Gerard had no time to respond.

"What the actual fuck are you guys doing??!" a voice yelled from below.
Micheal was staring at us, his facial expression marked with anger and confusion. I could only imagine what kind of conclusions his mind was jumping to.

"It's a surprise party!" Gerard yelled back. "Merry Christmas brother, wanna take a shot?" He held up his beer bottle to stress his statement.
I felt completely out of place and I started to consider backing up slowly out of sight. It seemed to late for that, though.

"Get down there!" Micheal commended and now I could see annoyance in his face as well.

"You want me to jump?"

"Jesus Christ, Gee take the stairs and come down here!"

"He's the biggest killjoy of them all." Gerard told me and walked back inside. Not without almost walking into the wall though, so I decided to follow him and make sure he wouldn't crash down the stairs. When we arrived downstairs, Gerard turned around and said: "Now he's gonna give us a lecture, watch out."

And indeed, Micheal stomped into the room and stopped abruptly when he saw us. "Where did you get all that alcohol from?" he asked his brother and crossed his arms, waiting for an answer.
I felt very uncomfortable, but it wouldn't be right to leave Gerard alone with this, so I stayed and prepared myself for the awkwardness to kick in.
"From the store." Gerard replied.
"The stores are closed. It's Christmas." Micheal replied.
"Oh."

Micheal sighed and stayed silent for a minute. Then he turned to me. " And what part are you playing in this?"
I didn't know how to respond. What part am I playing? How did I end up in these people's lives anyway?

"We were just having fun, no worries." Gerard slurred, answering for me and I noticed how he started swaying back and forth slowly. Micheal just stared at him for a minute.
"Pete..."
"Yes?"

Suddenly Micheal rushed towards us and I could barely make out what was happening, but we both managed to catch Gerard last minute before he could hit the ground. He had passed out.
"Motherfucking-" Micheal cussed under his breath as we tried to lift up his brother and carried him towards the living room.
My brain just works too slow. Gerard was asleep and Mikey and I had already been sitting in the kitchen for half an hour when I slowly started to realise what kind of family drama I was getting myself into.

I stared into the steaming cup of coffee that had been placed in front of me. As if it had some sort of answer.
I should've stayed at home.

"I tried convincing him to check into rehab." Mikey began. "He knows how fucked he is, but he likes to destroy himself." He refilled his cup for the third time.
He likes to destroy himself
I could almost sympathise with that, but I obviously shouldn't make this about myself again. This was another level of fucked up.

"Is there a reason to why?" I asked. It was inappropriate, you don't ask stuff like that. "I'm sorry-"
"It's fine." Mikey interrupted me. "He blames himself for a lot of things...Not anything specific. He just believes that he deserves to be hurt. It sounds really dramatic, but that's the way it is."
I just sipped on my coffee and nodded. Mikey carries a whole lot of responsibility for being the younger sibling. I felt like I had to help him, but I couldn't think of anything. To be honest, there wasn't really a reason why I should get involved with this in the first place.

"I don't want you to feel bad or anything." Mikey continued. " There's just something you have to promise me."
He started speaking more quietly as if anyone could hear us. "When he calls you, don't call back. Don't meet up. He drags people into his misery without really wanting it. You're not his anchor to hold on to."

I just stared back at him perplexed. I knew Gerard was in danger and he had been close to ending his life. I was there. There is no way I could just ignore that.
"I know what you're thinking right now, but believe me, it's better that way. He'll get better. Just do what I told you."

I looked outside.

"Pete?"

There was a bird outside. I'm very certain that it's the same one I had seen before.

"Fine. Sure." I said confidently and the bird flew into the sky quickly.

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Mr. Babydoll grabbed the pen and hold it tight. Before he reached the paper, he hesitated. How could he ever write Gerard out of the story? Why did he trust Micheal enough to not do it to him instead?