From Up Here

8

| | Ryan | |    

This night is going to be fun. 

Halfway to the venue, I decide that this is going to be a fun night and nothing can change my mind about that. I refuse to be sad and think about the past, I refuse to let things feel awkward between Ryker and I just because we barely know each other, and I refuse to not have a good time. I deserve this, I deserve to have fun after spending the last few weeks obsessing over my work. So much has been going on lately that I haven't taken the time to enjoy life, to breathe - so this is it. 

This is balance. This is me walking on the tightrope of life and not falling. 

When Ryker said that the rooftop was a place he goes to get away from everything, I found myself agreeing and sharing my own feelings about the small getaway. When I said that it was a place where I could just be, my mind automatically went to Garrett and how when I'm sitting on the edge of the building, it's like I'm the girl I was before he was taken away. It's like I can breathe and hear my own thoughts - there's no ghost of what used to be up there, it's just me, Ryan. 

It's kind of like that with Ryker too. He doesn't know my pain, my loss, my past, or my secrets. That's why I decided to have fun, to bring the rooftop to the streets, because Ryker doesn't treat me like I'm broken or not healing fast enough. Ryker treats me like he treats everyone else, and that's refreshing when you've been treated like you're made of glass for the past year and a half. 

The only problem with my plan to have a great night is that my company is sometimes a walking rain cloud. I've seen a glimpse of the nice side of Ryker, and I know that he's not as narcissistic and rude as he comes off to be, but I don't know how to get him to open up to me. I don't even know why I want him to open up to me. Maybe it's because of the way he complimented my work earlier today or because I see a reflection of myself in him, like he's hiding from the world as well and could use someone to be free around. 

I know there's more to Ryker than he lets people see. I know because I'm the same way, and even though we have different reasons and different trials that led us to be the people we are today, I can see that we're more the same that I had originally thought. We've been walking in silence for a couple of blocks now and I can see from the knit of his brow and the fidgeting of his hands that Ryker is trying to come up with some way to break our awkward silence, so I put him out of his misery and put forth my plan to have a good night. 

I turn on my heel and being walking backwards, careful to keep the same pace as before and not bump into anyone. "So Ryker Davis, tell me three interesting things about yourself." It's a game that my mom and I used to play when I was a kid. We'd pick a number and a topic, and you'd have to answer. Tell me four reasons you love the city. Three great places to get pizza. Five of your favorite movies. I haven't played the game in years, and I smile a little to myself now at the thought of playing again.

"What?"  Ryker looks even more tense than before as his eyes keep looking from my face to my feet, as if he's waiting for me to trip and fall. 

I open my mouth to reply just as an older man lightly bumps my shoulder, "Oh I'm sorry ma'am." I give the man a polite smile and continue stepping backwards, my eyes on Ryker as he watches me. 

"You heard me. Tell me three interesting things about yourself." 

"Will you please turn around? You're going to get hurt." His voice is a mix of irritation and actual concern, but I'm not giving in. I'm going to make Ryker Davis step out of his comfort zone and have fun.