𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤. [✓]

i

❝nana, jeno, good morning!❞ renjun said as he smiled to the two males. ❝you finally came, i thought you died.❞ jaemin heard renjun laugh and it was music to his ears. ❝i'm sorry that i couldn't hang out with you both over the summer, i was in china half the time.❞ the chinese sighed, thinking about his time in china. it wasn't really the best. yeah, he got to see his mom, but, it didn't help that he saw his ex boyfriend from middle school. what a mistake.

❝was it that bad?❞ jeno ran a hand through renjun's hair. at this point, skinship was normal for the three. even though they never confirmed their love for each other, they still showed it in other ways. ❝you guys can't tell this to anyone or i will kill you, okay?❞ the korean boys nodded. ❝i saw my ex from middle school and it was the worst. he was trying to get stuff out of me and kept following me around.❞ the shorter male groaned at the thought. he was in love with jeno and jaemin. only jeno and jaemin.

❝you had a boyfriend in middle school?❞ jeno asked, a hint of jealousy in his voice. ❝i-i don't even know why i liked him. i feel like a terrible person. i didn't even have romantic feelings towards him.❞ jaemin rest his hand on renjun's. ❝injun, please don't worry about it. didn't say he was like an asshole?❞ ❝yeah, but i feel like a douche bag for dating him when i barely could say that i loved him back.❞ the chinese boy pouted, which made the two koreans to squeal and hugged him tightly.

❝you're so cute!❞ jeno shouted out. renjun just sat there and blushed. he kept his head down to hide his pink cheeks. it was totally clear. all three boys were in love with each other. it was like if two best friends kissed and said no homo after. but, of course, they meant every signal of love they showed. if you would see for the first time, you'd think they were dating. at least knowing their love for each other. ❝i-i'm not cute.❞

❝you are to us,❞ jeno said.

❝you're our little spoon.❞ jaemin added.

why is my heart beating so fast? renjun thought as he rested his head against both boys' shoulders. he never really understood why jeno and jaemin made him feel this way.

💗

❝jesus, are you okay? did you like run a mile or something?❞ sicheng looked at his brother with an worried look. ❝i don't really want to talk about it, gēge.❞ renjun sighed. ❝it's jeno and jaemin, isn't it?❞ sicheng laughed at his blushing brother. ❝i don't even know what's going on anymore! they keep calling me cute and called me their little spoon! i'm so shy about it i-i'm trying to keep me cool, but it's not working!❞ the younger boy ranted. sicheng walked over to renjun.

❝they might like you back. did they hold their hands yet?❞ ❝hmm-mm,❞ the older chinese smiled. ❝i was like this with yuta gēge at first. like i said, they probably like you back,❞ renjun nodded and thanked his brother for the advice before heading up to him room.

the boy layed out on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. ❝do they really love me back? they don't think i'm gross? but... don't they like each other. no, they could just be nice. they don't like you renjun. they never will love someone who loves more than one person. you're only suppose to love one. not two. you're disgusting. you're going nowhere like this. they'll never love you. but, i-i can't stop falling even deeper for them—❞

renjun tried to choke a sob, but failed. he suddenly felt tears fall down his face. he buried his face in his hands. his loud sobs drowned everything else out, just like how he wanted his feelings to drown. but instead, he felt like he was drowning. he knew degrading himself like this won't help him, but it was hard to think these things.

he hated himself more than anything. he hated his feelings. his heart. he regretted ever falling in love with lee jeno and na jaemin.

[☁️]
in bold is mandarin*

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