Selfishness in Silence

Taste

Ben didn't order the attack that claimed Leia's life. He didn't have to say it out loud to Rey. Not that he could, his hot cheek pressed to hers in that tiny room, fists quaking so severely she'd thought the world itself was coming apart. In her heart, Rey had known all along.

She'd cradled him, stroking his hair while his guttural sobs and gnashing teeth tore at her heart until it was as raw as his screams. Time seemed to slow in those moments, cocooning them in a strange place of infinity, a hidden hollow within the ether. She'd felt... safe. His fingers sought for her face as her tears mingled with his, dark sad eyes pouring into her all the ashes of a broken man. And she found something inside her take wing, withdrawing from her to envelop him, to shield him.

In the silence that followed, his feverish whispers were a dull throb to her already aching heart. "I'd thought she—before Snoke... I thought..."

Embracing him, she'd ignored the bitter wail of her injuries and turned her lips to his ear. "I'm here, Ben. Right here."

The sky rains with petals, a storm of color against the sun's rise. Rey's thoughts drift back to the present. How cruel of Fate to begin anew despite an old life departing like the quiet of the night, lingering just beyond the vanishing shadows.

She stands beside Finn, Rose and Lieutenant Konnix, Kay as she prefers to be called. Rose weeps quietly as Finn holds her, his eyes never leaving the ground, and Kay watches after Poe with a shrewd gaze, but the quiver of her lower lip betrays her. Poe remains with the funeral procession. As the recently appointed leader of the Rebellion he will give the formal farewell speech.

Rey absorbs the scene with a sorrowful curiosity, her tears spent some days before. People line the sidewalks in dark though ornate garb, some with their hair in elaborate twists and braids. Rebel pilots stand at attention in full uniform and fellow allies of the late general bow their heads in respect. Jakku never knew such splendor. Stories told on holograms do no justice to seeing these rituals first hand. If not for the somber occasion, they'd be breath-taking. They still are.

Her mind drifts to Ben and she swallows the lump forming in her throat. You should be here.

The previous conversation with Leia echoes in Rey's mind. 'My son could never hide his true feelings.'

She glances away to the dusky edges of the sky, her chest aching.

.

.

"It would help if we had someone high up on the inside. Someone who knew Kylo Ren's movements." Poe's voice quakes, the anger in him threatening to overflow.

Rey averts her eyes to the others in the room: Finn, Rose and Kay. Since Poe has taken charge of the Resistance he's become much more fiercely driven. They do not speak of it, but she's caught the hidden side glances Rose gives him when Rose thinks no one is looking. The two women lock eyes. Rose purses her lips and Rey exhales a quiet breath, attempting to steady her whirling emotions. The pain of her injuries might be gone, but these emotions...

"We'd been completely blindsided!" Poe snarls, kicking a chair into the wall. "No one could have known about Leia's movements! Only the people in this room knew!"

"Hux has spies everywhere." Kay interjects, ignoring Poe's outburst. "One of them must have gotten the information somehow. Our organization has been ragtag at best since the destruction of D-Qar. It wouldn't be a stretch to consider a mole overhearing one of our meetings."

"It still got Leia killed." Finn adds darkly. "It almost took out Rey and Chewie, too."

"Yeah." Poe looks at Rey. "We almost lost our biggest piece on the board."