Selfishness in Silence

Epilogue: We Live Evermore

It's been eight months, three days, ten hours and twenty-two minutes.

She dreamed of him again last night. He was sitting on the very meditation rock where she had sat all that time ago, Luke pressing her hands to the cold stone. Beyond him, the placid surface of the ocean sparkled and the sun shone high in the sky, creating a painful glare against his eyes. In his hand he held what looked like a star compass. The lodestone at its center drew her eyes, hypnotizing her.

"I miss you." he had whispered, a smile lighting his face.

.

.

She walks into Maz's tavern with Chewie at her side, much to Maz's immediate delight, and they hold palaver over simple things. Rey counts the seconds, all too aware of the time, of the passing of time. It was the same back on Jakku before BB-8 had changed her life completely. A new shift in her path, a quickening.

At long last, Maz's eyes drift down to the roundness of her belly. "You're finally leaving."

Rey only nods.

"Your eyes are with him completely, now. Not here at all." she clicks her tongue in mild rebuke. "You will come back?"

"Yes."

"And he with you?"

Rey looks down at the small, square table they currently occupy, teeth worrying over her lower lip. "If he wishes it."

Maz chuckles. "He will."

.

.

She gathers her belongings slowly, the world around her seeming covered by a hazy, dream-like brilliance. She had woken this morning at once, the cobwebs of sleep that usually cling to her first arising thoughts conspicuously absent. Her head is clear; her choice is clear.

She packs Han's blaster last, staring at it for an eternity before tucking it away.

Finn and Rose meet her at the hangar. Chewie is already preparing the Falcon.

"How do you even know he's out there?" Finn inquires, his tone a tad sharper than he intends.

Rey purses her lips. "We've been over this, Finn."

He opens his mouth, intending another pointed question, but instead grits his teeth and asks. "When are you coming back?"

"I won't be gone forever." she promises, pausing to look at both of them. "I can't stay gone. You're my family, too."

Rose reaches out to hug her and she accepts it ardently. "I hope you find what you're looking for." Rose whispers in her ear before pecking her cheek.

Rey returns it, whispering back. "I'm going to miss you."

Finn sniffs, chin held high.

"You too, you grouch." she throws a playful glare at him.

He looks away to the ramp of the Falcon where Chewie is exiting to come and join them.

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to give her a damned hug?!" Rose suddenly exclaims, hands flying to her hips as she turns a critical scowl on Finn.

Relinquishing a sigh, he steps forward and beckons for Rey. She takes his embrace fiercely, hands reaching up along his back and fingers pressing into his shoulder blades.

"Poe says not to be gone too long." Finn grumbles petulantly.

She detects the disarmed softening of his voice and smiles, planting a tender kiss on his jaw. "You know I can't stay gone. I'd miss you too much."