Never Alone

Chapter 14

When he stepped out of the bathroom, clad in pajamas, he glanced across the room and found Annie snoring softly. Tracy's letter was still folded and clasped to her chest, and tiny cookie crumbs collected at the corners of her mouth. The Oreo package was open on the bed, and he saw the impressive attempt she made at devouring all of them. A bag of potato chips sat on the nightstand between the two beds in much the same condition. The bed spread was barely covering her legs, and he saw her shiver and wrap her arms tightly around herself. Doing his best not to disturb her, he pulled the covers up to her chin and smiled as his heart ached the dull familiar ache to which he was growing accustomed.

Exhausted, he fell into bed, but as soon as his head hit the pillow, his mind started replaying the events of the day. First, he thought of all the things Annie told him. It was clear she hesitated to trust him, and he prayed for an opportunity to prove he wasn't the same man who was so insensitive to her feelings before.

When he thought of the call he received from Mitch Solomon on his way into Chicago, his blood began to boil. So many lies. And now Tracy's body was reduced to a pile of ash. There could be no proper funeral, no grave where he could leave flowers on her birthday, no going back to the way things were. A hot tear wended its way down his cheek as he stared into the darkness of the room.

His mind flashed images of the moment the gunfire commenced at the street-side café. The man sitting across from Annie took the first bullet, and frenzy quickly ensued. As he ran to the woman who mattered more to him than anyone in the world, he watched her sink to her knees and try her best to help the man who lay dying in her arms. A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. That was just the type of girl she was, not considering her own safety if there was someone else in need. If only there was a chance he could make her love him again.

'Just be there for her...never, never, never give up.' Even though Tracy was gone, she still managed to bring hope and encouragement to his heart through the words in her letter. After so many readings, he was close to having it memorized. "I won't give up," he promised his sister.

Shifting onto his side, a stabbing pain in his arm left him breathless for a moment. He forgot about the gunshot wound. At least it wasn't very serious. He remembered how carefully Annie bandaged him up, and his heart warmed once more. For a moment, it almost felt like the old spark still shone between them. Her touch had been so tender and compassionate, and in that small space of time, he really believed she loved him. It was her manner toward him which provided him the confidence to almost tell her how he loved her, almost kiss her, and almost hold her close to his heart. Then she pulled away, and reality hit like a truck. There was still so much he needed to say, so many things he had to apologize for, but was she willing to hear him?

The sound of muffled crying drew him away from the turmoil in his mind, and he instantly sprang from the bed and switched on the lamp. When he leaned over where Annie lay, he found her with eyes closed, tears streaming down her cheeks as soft sobs racked her shoulders. He sat down on the bed beside her and pulled her into his arms. She did not put up a fight but instead melted against his chest. Rocking her back and forth, he prayed quietly for her comfort.

When the storm of tears passed, she remained in his arms still and silent. Soft, shallow breaths replaced the raw emotion of moments earlier, and he gently returned her head to the pillow and tucked the covers in around her. As he looked down on her tear-stained face, he felt a strong urge to kiss her. Fighting back the impulse, he determined not to take any part of her heart she was not ready to give willingly... even a kiss on the forehead would be overstepping the boundaries she wished to keep between them.

His arms burned from holding her, and they felt so empty and useless when he crawled back into his own bed like they were meant for so much more than lying idly at his sides. Not allowing his mind to fix on the desire in his heart, he turned his attention to praying about the next step they should take. Would it be safe to stay at this hotel? Did the people who killed Tracy and tried to kill Annie know that he was now in on the plot to overthrow their plans? What exactly were their plans? These questions and many more branded themselves into his brain. Finally, trusting the entire matter to God, he fell asleep just as the sun commenced it daily journey over the horizon.