Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
REVIEW:
I really loved the concept of your story, and the cover is absolutely stunning!
From what I have read so far, I believe you have portrayed Neville quite accurately. He is awkward, he worries about being a squib, he gets scared when he sees Luca getting angry at him, thinking that he has offended him somehow. I think this really shows his character well, as it portrays how he has low self confidence. He also feels pressured by Augusta constantly comparing him to his father, and even doubts if she actually does love him.
But you also showed Neville as a caring person. He is willing to help Luca with his spells, even though he doubts his own skills. I loved how you made him unbiased towards the Slytherins. Despite there being a strong reason for him to be resentful towards the house of the snakes, he still formulated his own opinions about the house. And I think that is great!
Your story overall is amazingly written. There were absolutely no grammatical errors, and the sentences flowed smoothly, providing enough description to form an image in the readers' minds. Luca is also an intriguing character, and the relationship between the boys is sweet and lovely. At one point in chapter one, you switched to present tense all of a sudden even though everything was written in past tense all along, but other than that, your book is quite flawless.
Overall, I would give you 10/10 for character portrayal. Keep up the good work!
