Possessive || Kim Taehyung

Chapter.9 | Fate

**Two years later**

Where is she right now? Does she look the same as she used to two years ago? What is she doing right now? Does she have a new boyfriend? Does she still love me?
Those are the questions that haunts me everyday, ever since Y/N left me.

It's been a little more than a year since I've starting going to therapy. I go there three times a week, for at least two hours a day. I've learned to control my anger and overall become a better person.

The first few weeks were hard and painful. I cried every single day, day and night. I isolated myself from the outside world, and kept me from meeting Y/N.
My mind was a constant poison that would fill me with venom. I always got this urge to go and find Y/N, but I always resisted.
It was hard, but that's what I deserved. Y/N didn't want to meet me, maybe she still doesn't today.

I feel empty inside, I have nobody to talk to. When all I want is a hand to hold or an arm about my shoulders and none comes, the world becomes cold and empty.

Night is always the worst. A hellish kind of isolation where my only company is loneliness and loneliness will never leave.
This loneliness kills me every day just a little bit more, taking what was once my inner light and replacing it with a darkness that overshadows each moment. But it's okay, it's all my fault anyway. I deserve this.

I realized that I was never a man, I was just an asshole. I have learned to control my possessiveness. I have become quite mature, though not as much as I would like to be, but I have still improved tremendously.

I can still hear Y/N's voice even though I haven't seen her in two years. I can remember the stupid things she used to say, all those catch-phrases, what did they all mean anyway?

I miss her, I really do. If I had the chance, I would go to her right now and promise her that I'll never make her cry again. I really mean it this time. If she doesn't want to see me, it's okay. I will just apologize to her, and leave. She's too good for me anyways.

                           Y/N's POV

I counted to three before I ran through the rain, and to my car. My hand was covering the top of my head, but that didn't make any difference. The raindrops fell on my face and drenched my clothes.

"Shit, I forgot the car keys!" I turn to Melinda and make an apologetic face before I run back to her house to get them.

Me and Melinda are childhood friends, and I'm pretty sure she's the only person I have left. I've been living in her house since I left Taehyung... 

I quickly got the car keys and ran back to Melinda. She was standing there with a frown on her face.

"Ahh I'm sorry, don't make that face" I chuckled as I unlocked the car. When was the last time I sat in a car?

"You've become so forgetful ever since you left Taehyung" She said.
I bit my tongue at hearing his name, and pretended I didn't hear what she just said.

It was true though. I am not like myself anymore. All I am is sadness. Where there was the love, the light, the laughter is an aching hollowness. I was honest, truthful and full of love for him.

For months the window has been my only connection to the outside world. Without it this house would feel like a tomb, already it's as quiet as a mausoleum. The phone doesn't ring and the door stays shut unless it's the delivery man. What's the point of going outside?
Today Melinda forced me to accompany her to the grocery store. I can't remember the last time I left the house.

Crying had always been a healthy release, but for me it's a habit now. I don't really eat alot these days. When the sadness comes my appetite is ash on the floor. The food gets stuck, four bites and I'm done. The urge to cry comes and goes, chaotic and powerful.

We finally reached the grocery store. I can't believe I didn't ask for directions.
People move past, trapped in their own heads as I am in mine. Children laugh, tantrum, cry or whine. I see their parents react: placating, frustrated.

I chose to wait in the car, until Melinda comes back. It's taking her surprisingly long time. Isn't she just going to buy bread and ice cream?

A red car was parked right beside me. A couple came out of it. The boy was holding the girl close to his body, underneath the umbrella. They were holding hands and clinging on each other.
I chuckled. That's how Taehyung and I used to be one day.
"Losers" I murmured under my breath. I bet they'll break up in less than a week.

Love is just a dilemma people tend to believe in. The only thing you get out of love is loneliness. It makes your life miserable, breaks your heart into thousand pieces and still each broken part of your heart misses him like your heart missed him as whole.
It keeps you obsessed with him, you just miss his face his eyes his smile his scent, all the time knowing that you are never going to get him again.

I wanted to get out of the car and yell to the girl "All men are the same, just leave him." But she'll find out herself, now or later.

Heart break is a funny thing. We all know it's going to happen, yet we're never prepared for it. We underestimate it's power. It's like giving a murder a gun, and expecting not to be killed. Why are we never ready for it? Because we're in denial. We believe it won't happen. We believe the murderer will not kill us. We believe if we give him our hearts he will not crush it. Hearts shouldn't be crushed. They should be cherished and protected. I wish someone would have told me that. I wish I could've known. I wish I would have cherished and protected my heart-

"I'm done" Melinda groaned and got in the car.

I flinched and stared at her.

"What?" Melinda asked.

"Nothing" I said and shook my head.

I started the car and drove down the rode. I noticed how Melinda tried to keep our conversation going, but I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"When was the last time you drove a car?" Melinda asked and looked at me concerned.

I chuckled and eyed her.
"I can't even remember myself. You better put on that seatbelt." I joked. Melinda's eyes widened and she quickly put on the seatbelt.

We both laughed for a good minute. I fiddles with the radio to fill our ears with the latest popular tunes.

"Y/N WATCH OUT!" Melinda screamed on top of her lungs and held her seatbelt tightly.

I looked up and realized it was a red light. Without thinking twice I pushed the brakes as hard as I could.
I gasped as the front of our car hit someone else's car.
My body hit the steering wheel, not hard though.

"SHIT!" I said as I covered my forehead with my hand. Both, me and Melinda had a terrified expression on our face. The car in front of us now had scratches in the back.

A man got out of the car in front of us. Shit, shit, shit. I started to panic. I prepared myself to listen to his lecture. I'll pay for the damages too!

"Just say it was too dark, you couldn't see" Melinda quickly whispered to me.

We both held our breath as the man approached our car and knocked on our window. I quickly rolled it down.

"I'll pay for the damages, I promise." I blurted out before I could even make eyecontact with the man.

"Y/N?" A soft voice spoke. I looked at the warm brown eyes, just inches away from mine.

"I-it's me, Taehyung." That deep voice sent shivers down my back.

"Taehyung, who?"