PIECE IN MY CHAOS

SOMEONE LIKE HIM

ALEJA

I lifted my hands to my lips and closed my eyes. 

Never.

Never in my life I felt what I felt earlier that day with Cole Allen.

Cole Allen. He was rough looking, in a serious need of shave. He was the man in front of the biggest motorcycle gang in the world. It was a club but it was still a gang. He was a man with too many secrets. A man who dirtied his hands more than once. Dangerous man. Man who isn't for me.

He was also a man who looked at his daughters like the world beggins and ends with them. At his father like there is no more proud and honor than to be his son. His stepmother like she was precious. 

And he was a man who kissed me like nobody before. Like nobody kissed anybody before. The man who made me feel safe in his arms. Safe like I never been before, even with the army I have at my back.

"Do you thinks she took care of it by now?"

Wall's question shook me out of there ridiciouls thoughts.

-"Livvie's weakness would be the end of her.", I said.

We were on my plane on the way to DC to deal with problems Olivia gave us.

-"She didn't expose the evidence she had because that would harm the White House. Grant would look bad in front of people. And it's too close to second election."

Olivia Pope is the strongest and toughest woman I knew. Until you mention President of The United States of America, Fitzerald Grant III.

"Stupid", Wall mutered.

-"Yeah."

I turned on my laptop in front of me.

"Big family Allen has.", Wall said.

"Yeah". Last thing I needed now is to talk about Cole.

"Sad to see what kind of woman Roscoe has"

I lifted my head and felt my chest get tight.

-"Unbelieavable sad. I always had him in my mind. Both him and Pato obviously had sad lifes apart."

Patricia never married after Roscoe, she had couple of relationships but every time when the guy proposes, she ends them. She was now with some sleazy bussinesman called Emir. I couldn't wait for him to propose.

"He still loves her. You know that."

-"I know, honey. She doesn't let us to talk about him, but she loves him too. You can see that." 

"She's coming next week for that meeting. I don't see good things happening"

-"She will stay for three days tops, I just have to reassure her that this is a good plan in the meantime and all will be good."

"Is it?", Wall asked.

-"What?"

"Good plan. It was a good plan until just hours ago when it seemed like the world ended for you when Rush Allen tore his mouth form yours. And quite honestly, the world ended for him too."

Um..what?

-"I'm gonna be honest, James. It was... well unexpected. I mean, good. It was good kiss. And I felt.. well things that I ... well, never felt before."

Wall looked at me for some moments and then his lips twitched.

"What is the first advice you give your inters on their first day?"

I smiled.

-"Never use "um", "like" and "well" when making your case. Look, I don't know what to say. Yeah, it was a good kiss. Great kiss. But I'm not forgetting the big picture here. You know me."

"Yeah, I know you. And I want him for you"

What?

-"What?"

"Not him. He's way to messy to get into things. But someone like him. Someone who looks like he could protect you from the world. And someone with whom you could finnaly relax and just let yourself be protected. And not to have to be the one protects the rest, like you always do. To let go of La Baracuda"

My throat clogged and I reached over and took his hand.

-"I got you to protect me, honey."

He squezeed my hand.

"And I will. Always and forever. Not just because I owe you. But because you're you. And I love you with all my heart. But, sweethart, i'ts not the same and you know it. You need different kind of love."

The second he said that, images of Cole Allen started to rush into my mind. His hair, his arms, his shoulder, those eyes, those lips...

-"It's just not in the cards for me, James."

I let go of his hand, leaned back in my seat and found my headphones.

-"I'm gonna do some work. Start contacting Livvie's people to get us details. Start with Quinn. We'll be landing soon and we have things to do"

Yeah... In the times like these, La Baracuda was my only way.

"Yes, ma'am.", Wall replied but I couldn't look at his face.

Couple of hours later, we landed in DC. And in more hours, Cole Allen would be here.

I wasn't admitting it, but I knew I was craving for him. To feel whole again.