chapter6 pain

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When i walked into my house i saw something i really didn't want to see, and i was horrified. My dad was looking straight at me, he was looking straight into my eyes. He looked very angry he looked like he just wanted to kill me right here, and it was terrifying. I don't even know why he is even here, he should be gone for four more days.

"And were have you been!?" he asked me in a really angry voice.

"I...i was sleeping at a friend's house..." I said while trying to not sound scared.

"And why were you sleeping there if i didn't give you permission to!?" He yelled at me in a angry but also terrifying voice.

"I was there because it was really late and it was also raining a lot when i was done training and wanted to go back home." i said while looking away from him, i didn't want to look him straight in the eyes. Suddenly he threw a empty beer bottle at me and it hited my left arm i let out a loud cry in pain, there were some shards of glass stuck in my arm and it hurted a lot. And there was so much of blood dripping from my arm onto the floor.

"Don't look away from be while i'm talking to you, you useless little brat!" He yelled at me while walking up to me, and when he did he pushed me to the ground really hard. I could feel tears trying to come out of my eyes, but i desperately tried to hold back all of my tears.

"Honestly i don't even know why your mother didn't put you up for adoption the moment you were born, i have no clue why she wanted to have such a worthless and pathetic son like you!" he said while repeatedly kicking me and stomping on me, why? Why must i always be in so much pain? Why must i hurt so much? It isn't fair! after another minute of my dad hurting me i just couldn't hold back my tears any longer, so many tears were escaping my eyes and falling down my face and he seemed to be enjoying it so much.

After a hour of him abusing me he finally stoped i was covered in blood and silent sobs were coming out of my mouth. He was looking down at me with an amused but also with a disgusted expression on his face. "Just look at how pathetic you are, you can't even stand up or stop crying, remind me why someone as pathetic as you hasn't killed themselves yet!?" He yelled at me, i didn't even answered him i just looked at him with a sad and pathetic expression on my face and i started crying even more.

He just grabbed his jacked and his wallet and walked outside, while i was just laying there on the ground in a lot of pain. I hate this, i hate this so much. Why must he always hurt me? I just want him to stop, i just want it to end. I want everything to end i don't want to be alive anymore, it just hurts to much. I just hate my life, i hate everything about it. I hate everything about myself, i hate my looks, i hate my personality and i hate how weak i am. I don't even know how my team can still be around me for more then a few minutes, i'm always being a asshole to them. My dad is right why haven't i killed myself yet, maybe if i'm dead i won't feel so much pain anymore. And when i'm dead nobody would be hurting because of me anymore, because i can't be mean to them anymore when i'm dead. I should just kill myself nobody would care if someone like me would be dead, they will probably be very happy about it.

"I'm such a failure, no wonder everyone hates me, i'll probably never get revenge Shu..." I could feel tears falling down my face again, i'm just a weakling i can't even stop crying i'm pathetic! I was just laying on the ground for who knows how long, i was scared that at any moment my dad would come back and hurt me again. But even if i'm scared i still have to get up and clean myself, i can't lay on the floor with blood on me the entire day. I slowly stood up from the cold floor, but when i stood up i felt really dizzy like i was going to fall down. But i just ignored it and walked upstairs to the bathroom.

When i got to the bathroom i took of my clothes and took a shower, the worm wather felt really nice. After being in the shower for a pretty long time i got out dried myself, and putted on a sweater and sweatpants so that nobody could see the bruises on my body. After that i walked to my room, my room was pretty big and it had blue coloured walls and i had a pretty comfortable bed to. I walked up to my bed and sat down on it, i wasn't doing anything at all i was just looking at the ground for something like ten minutes i wasn't even thinking of anything.

Then i grabbed my phone and i saw that i got a text message from Gabe, but why would he be texting me? He has no reason to be texting me. I just stoped thinking about it and started reading it.

Gabe:Hey i know you probably won't read this, but i'm sorry about yesterday."
07:05
Why is he apologising? He didn't do anything wrong, i should be the one apologising to him.

Gabe:Hey were are you, you're usual already at the WBBA way before us!"
08:30

Gabe:Are you alright!? It's already afternoon and you still aren't here, is everything ok!?"
12:03 I didn't even realise it was already that late, i guess being in pain takes up a lot of time.

Gabe:Come on please respond, me and the others are really worried about you!"
12:46

Why the hell are they even being concerned about me? There probably just lying, i know that they hate me more then anything in the world. So why would they say that they are concerned about a pathetic asshole like me? It just doesn't make sense. But i guess i still have to go to the WBBA to train, but first i have to eat something. I walked out of my room closed the door behind me, and walked downstairs to the kitchen. i was just looking trough the cabinet grabbing almost everything i could find, i didn't even care what kind of food i was eating as long as i'm eating something, i don't even know why but eating always calmed me down and comforted me.

When i grabbed all the food that i could find i started eating it really really fast, and after something like 45 minutes all the food was gone, and my stomach hurted a lot. I also felt so ashamed that i was able to eat all of that food so fast. I really didn't want to gain any weight, i really don't want that. I speed walked to the bathroom, i hung my head over the toilet and shoved two of my fingers down my throat and vomited out everything that i just ate. When i was done i had a disgusting taste in my mouth, i flushed the toilet and walked back upstairs and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and when i was done i putted my boots on grabbed the duffel bag with my training clothes in them and left the house.

I hope you guys liked this new chapter sorry it took so long i had writers block.

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