Wasting Time

4

We all fell asleep in the common room that night. I was wrapped in Sirius' arms on the couch, Remus and Dorcas were in an arm chair, while Mary had spread out on the other couch. Peter was in an arm chair, and Emmeline was on the floor in front of the fire. James and Lily has fallen asleep tangled together in the floor in front of Sirius and I. At around 7 the next morning, Professor McGonagall came through the portrait hole. We all woke up at the sound except for Mary and Peter.

"I see you're all awake. Miss McKinnon, Miss Evans, Potter, and Black, can I see speak to you privately please?" She looked tired and like she was just barely holding back emotion. We all looked at each other in confusion and concern.

"What is it professor?" Sirius asked, holding onto me as I tried to stand up. His brow was furrowed and his eyes betrayed the fear he didn't want the rest of us to see.

"I really would prefer to discuss this in private Sirius." When she said his first name, we all knew that something terrible had happened. I put my hand on his shoulder, assuming that it had been someone he cared about involved. I wracked my brain trying to imagine who it could be, but no one came to mind that wouldn't also directly affect someone else in this room. "Please, will the four of you come to my office."

We all disentangled ourselves from each other and followed her out of the common room. The walk to McGonagall's office was silent. Sirius grabbed my hand as we walked through the school. He was scared, even if he didn't know what he was scared of. The morning had been a terrifying reminder that we really were at war, something that we all actively tried to forget when we were at school.

I knew that we were all wondering why Lily was with us. Her family couldn't have been at Hogsmeade, and who else was there? For a split second, Snape crossed my mind. But if it were him, why would the rest of us be here?

The walk to McGonagall's office felt like it took forever. It was a walk that all of us but Lily had made a million times, and it had never once felt like this. When we got to her door, she ushered us inside.

"Actually," she said when we got inside. "Could You three wait outside and let me talk to Marlene alone." In that moment, my heart sank and I knew exactly what had happened. The other three filed out of the room, shooting me worried glances. I felt numb as soon as McGonagall spoke, and it didn't even register that she had led me to a seat and sat me down.

"Which one of them was it?" I managed to say through the haze. I was staring blankly at her desk, trying to process what I knew was coming.

"Pardon?"

"One of my brothers is dead. It's the only reason you would have wanted to speak to me alone. Which one?"

"Marlene, I am so sorry. Micah's body was found under the dark mark last night." I nodded, trying to digest that he was gone.

"Do the rest of them know?"

"Dumbledore has made a trip to your house to alert your brothers, yes."

"And Milo?" Milo was The brother I was closest with, but he was also currently abroad.

"I will be making a trip after I ensure that you are alright to tell Milo. This is not the type of news one should receive in a letter." I nodded, becoming very aware of how dry my mouth was.

"I agree."

"Marlene," she said softly. "It is okay to grieve. You are not weak if you cry over this." She reached a hand across the desk and took mine.

"I just think I need a minute to process professor."

"Do you wish to return home and be with your brothers?" I shook my head.

"Going home won't do me any good. I can't fight if I miss all my classes and don't know how to. I'd rather be here with my friends."

"I understand. Would you like me to go get your friends from the hallway?"

"Yes please." She nodded and walked to the door. As soon as I saw Sirius enter, I walked to him and collapsed in his arms in tears. Over my sons, I could just barely hear McGonagall speaking to them.

"I expect the three of you to look after her. That's why I brought you as well. Make sure she is ok, that she's eating and all that. She will be ok, she is very strong, but that doesn't mean she doesn't need your support right now." They all agreed and a moment later, James and Lily were both hugging me as well.