A FAN [Completed]

Chapter 19

Arthit POV

Well, it would be an understatement if I said I was pissed because I was beyond pissed. I wanted to just screw all of this and run to him. But what does that make me? A creep. Weirdo.
Okay fine. I accept I feel something for Kongpob. I am not sure about it yet but that doesn't mean I will let anyone get in my way. Our way. Argh!!! What the fuck am I thinking? Arthit. S.T.O.P.
You are just crreping yourself out. HOW THE HELL can you feel something for someone in just 10 days and that too of the same gender. Let's not go there, it's not like he is gonna turn gay just because you happen to feel something for him.

You have next to zero rights to intervene in his personal affairs.I don't think I am fond of this feeling of annoyance and the scowl that has found its place on my face permanently these days. And it most certainly seems to be something related to Kongpob every waking moment. But. Who the heck was that girl who clung on to him like that? What are they? Why did he let her be? Why does she get do whatever she wants with him? What happens to me then?

These questions keep coming back to me and trust me I can already feel a sleepless night ahead. I was stomping back and forth in my waiting room while we were preparing to leave. I was so close to fish out my phone to call him and ask him to come meet me now but I can't really do that. The lie that we wove doesn't really seem to help anymore at all. It's super obvious that he isn't one and he isn't even trying to sheild that fact. I was so frustrated at the moment. I am truly miserable when it comes to my feelings, I really can't figure what I want. I am never too sure about me on that part.

My trail of thoughts was interrupted by P'Yui.

"Nong, Let's move, the crowd has been cleared."

I nodded at her and forced a smile to convince my fans and walked out to the light. I scanned the crowd while waving at them all. I was busy trying to spot the two persons, that I had previously seen. But to my disappointment I couldn't see them. I walked to my car with slumped shoulders. It is a long ride back to my house from this mall so I decided that I should try and fix myself while I still had some time alone to drown into my thoughts.

I stared out at the window and resumed my trail of thoughts. So I was saying I am never too good at figuring out my feelings by myself. I am always torn between sure and unsure. Speaking about Kong, he does give me this warm fuzzy feeling at the pit of stomach and it seems way too pleasant to let go.

Its been almost 2 years since I broke up with Ema. She was a first at everything. We were having pleasant days until one day, everything ended. After that I never seeked after any girl. Not that I didn't find any attractive, just that I didn't want to feel the pain of letting go.I was quite sure about what I felt for Ema. But that was not the case with Kong. He simply seemed like a good acquaintance and I couldn't imagine any further although I wanted to.

Not that I have anything against gay people but... I am not sure if I could be one. Besides what would be the point in getting ourselves in awkward positions after confessing. He did say he dated a girl before and there is high possibility that he would run away from me and it could also land me in trouble if he decides against it. But I can't get rid of this feeling of being neglected like I don't mean anything more than just a friend,a celebrity. At this point I am quite not sure where my feelings for Kong stand at. Before I figure that out I musn't do something and break the tiny thread I have joined with him.

I was abruptly pulled from my trance when the driver pulled the car near my apartment. I nodded a thanks and got down and walked to my apartment. Once I entered, I freshened up and ordered take out food. While I was waiting, I lazily scrolled through Instagram trying to distract myself. I sighed and threw the phone away and laid my head back on the couch staring at the ceiling. Sometimes I would think, if I wasn't in this sort of field what would I have done. I would have preferred a simple warm family, a jolly good number of good friends and a peaceful university life.