Various x Reader

Karkat Vantas x Reader: I Wanna Hate-Marry You

A/N: Hey guys! Silver Echo here! This has a few triggers: #cussing. If you don't like it, you can skip it. Heads up, it I ever do a Homestuck chapter where one of the characters has a typing quirk, I will only use it when they are texting. Also, I don't know the Alternian marriage customs (if there even is any) so 'Hate-Marrying' would be just normal marriage in this one-shot. Thank you!

Ah, yes. Another bright and sunny day in your home country of (Country's name). The sun was shining happily through the windows of your little reading nook, where you were rereading (Favorite Book) for the hundredth time. Turning the page, you smile at the protagonist, know what was going to happen next. Even if you've read it all before, you get very excited when the climax happens. Just a few more sentences. 

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*  

You groan loudly and bookmark your page, and glaring at your front door. The knocking doesn't stop until you walk over and throw it open, a bit surprised at the sudden appearance of Karkat, the nasty and rude troll from next door. 

"What do you want, Vantas?" You ask, clearly annoyed. Doesn't he know you were reading the best book of all time? Well, obviously he doesn't, but that's beside the point.

"What, can I not just visit my fucking matesprite?" He snaps, pushing past you into your house. Oh, did I mention he was your boyfriend/matesprite thing? You still don't completely understand troll romance. 

"Well, I guess that's okay.." You sigh and walk back over to the book you were reading. "So, there is not actual reason for you to be here?" 

"No, I just wanted to watch a Rom-Com with you." He pulls a movie from under his sweater. It looked like that Adam Sandler Movie, '50 First Dates' or something like that, but instead of human Adam Sandler, it was Troll Adam Sandler. You shrug a bit, continuing to read your book. 

"Okay, whatever, just let me finish this chapter." You respond, not really paying attention to him. Karkat huffs and puts the disk into your DVD player and turns on the TV, waiting for it to boot up. He walks over with the remote and sits next to you on the cramped reading nook. 

You notice him reading over your shoulder and you bookmark your page again, closing the book. "Can I help you?"

"Just wanted to fucking see what you were reading," He rolls his eyes, taking the book from you and reading the back of it. 

"What's that word?" He points to one of the words on the back cover. 

Looking over at it, you respond. "It says 'romance.' Honestly, KarKat, you really need to work on reading (Your native language) better." 

He groans. "Well I'm sorry that I was not born on this shitty planet." He sets the book down away from the two of you and closes the blinds of your window. He pulls you close to him and starts the movie, cuddling to you closely. 

~Le Time Skip Brought To You By: Kanaya's Chainsaw~

By the end of the movie, Karkat was crying just a bit, mumbling 'So damn sweet,' under his breath. You were only half away, not really into the movie. It was just like the human version, minus the Troll different and the vocabulary. 

"Really, Karkat. You watch this movie daily, and you still cry over it." You tease him, smiling just a bit. 

"Shut up, (Your Last Name). This is a beautiful movie that deserves all of the fucking praise in the damn universe. It is beautifully written and acted out by none other then Troll Adam Sandler, who is the best fucking actor in the fucking hop-beast shaped universe." Karkat rants, his face turning into a cherry by the end. 

".... What's a hop beast?" You ask, not really paying attention. You do love him, but he can be a bit... over-dramatic at times. 

"I guess you fuckasses would call it a 'frog'." He shrugs and wipes his eyes. Smiling, you kiss his cheek gently. 

"And, if I may ask, is the universe shaped like a frog?" 

"I don't fucking know. Ask Jade." 

You make a mental note to do just that and sigh, cuddling to him more. He kisses the top you your head gently. 

"Flushed for you, (y/l/n)." He mumbles, holding you close.

"Flushed for you, too, Vantas." You smile happily. It grows to a comfortable silence for a moment. 

"Hey, (Y/F/N)?" Karkat's tone was suddenly serious. You tilt your head and look up at him. 

"Hm?" You were confused. Why would he act so determined all of a sudden?

"I.." He groans. "I have to fucking ask you something."

"Okay? What is it?" You grow more confused as he moves you off of him gently and went to stand in front of you. 

"Well, I've been studying human relationships with Kanaya, and so, we read this stupidass part about when two humans are courting for a while, they have a..." He scratches his head. "Fuck..." 

"Just say what you need to." You crease your eyebrows together. "Explain." 

"They have this thing called a 'wedding.' I think we should have one." He slowly gets on his knee and pulls out a ring box to reveal a simple but cute ring. "(y/f/n) (y/l/n), will you be my matesprite for life and hate-marry me?"

"Of cou- wait. Hate-marry you? Isn't that like... bad?" You cross your arms. He tilts his head.

"No? That's what we do on Alternia. Is it not called hate-marrying here?" 

"No! It's just called marriage. Humans doen't normally get 'hate-married!'"

He huffs. "Well, my fucking bad. Will you.. erm.. marry me or not?" 

You laugh and lean down to kiss him. When you two pull away, you nod. 

"Of course, you stupid idiot!" 

~Fin~

971 words.