My head hung low. I couldn't raise my eyes to her. I wasn't sure I could control myself if I did. Her soft warm palms came to rest at either side of my face lifting my face to her. I couldn't protest. I missed her warmth. I missed her so much. Her v...
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I stopped by at SM on my way home. I needed to get myself worked up practicing for an hour or too. That's how I ended up bringing JMT solo performance to the stage. I liked how the moves almost ripped me out of my body. It was amazing how the muscles get relaxed and tensed in between the fraction of seconds as my body moves to the beat. As the perfect postures were aligned with the exact movements synchronizing with the music, the thrill run down my body was somewhat peaceful. It was my ultimate release.
I fell in love with the art of performing when I was way younger. I was so passionate about it even though I hadn't knew half of what I know now. I always loved performing. I never thought for a moment that the fame which comes with it would one day be something to keep me away from the only person I'd rather die for.
After three hours of intense practice all by myself and hitting the gym for another two I washed up. I got in the vehicle and turn on the heater as the weather was getting colder. Time lit up on the dashboard saying it was 4am in the morning. I drove off at seemingly a higher speed. It took only 15 minutes to get home and pull in to the garage. I leaned back on the head rest not ready to go in to the house just yet.
The weather today remind me of so much that day I finally got to talk to her. I intentionally missed the performance at MAMA. The day after that I missed the VLive too. Everyone else was surprised why I'm not joining them. But for what I had in my mind I had to do it. I heard so many rumors that were absolutely hilarious. But I informed the managers beforehand that I had to attend to a personal matter and I need it to be private as it can get. So they didn't bother me. For my own benefit so many had questioned my absence at MAMA during the VLive. And Baekhyun had joke it off saying I was acting weird these days. Just like I expected.
As usual, fans and paparazzi were flocked at the SM entrance. What's unusual was, I wasn't among the members who were leaving the building. I was in my vehicle which I hardly used. It was parked far enough not to get caught but near enough to recognize the face I so longed to see.
I waited more than two hours. Even the fans were fed up they were slowly starting to get dispersed. Soon the streets were empty. I was so tired. Though the plenty of layers over my body supposed to warm me up, I felt colder than ever. I shouldn't stepped out to the road at this hour without the bodyguards. But that's what I did. I was disappointed. I thought she'd show up. Maybe I thought wrong. Maybe her happened to be at those places were just a mere coincidence, I thought.
The midnight chill rose goosebumps underneath the two oversized hoodies I was wearing that night. My face mask covered my face, otherwise the skin would have gotten cracked up due to the cold. My hood was pulled over my head. I was completely covered. I wouldn't get caught. I thought, at least to enjoy that night as a normal boy would.
For a few minutes the serenity of that night continued. Crunching sounds of dirt underneath the shoes echoed piercing the silence. It wasn't me who's moving. I was standing frozen still where I was just seconds ago. Footsteps became clearer by the second. At least the sound didn't seem to belong to many but a single person. I could easily run back to the vehicle. I thought, turning my head slightly towards the direction where the movement was coming from.
There she was.
Entire world seemed to pause except for the person who's slowly stumbling her way towards me. Only her head was hanging low. She didn't see me just then. I didn't mean to move at all, but if I didn't she would have walked passed me. I stepped in front of her, making her stop abruptly.
I was more than sure she couldn't recognize me as I had my back to the street lights. But for me her face was lit with light. Her soft skin glowed like a child's. Her eyes were bothered. In fact they looked like she was just being crying a moment ago. I wanted to step forward and creases her puffy cheeks and wipe off the drying tears. But I couldn't. I might easily freak her out if I did.
"What do you want?" Her voice cracked.
I was already content that I finally got to hear voice this time. I shook my head at my thoughts.
"Look if you want money, I'm sorry I don't have any" she searched for something in her jacket pockets "if you're hungry-" she pulled out a packet of cheetos and a half drunk yoghurt drink "-you can have these. I drank half of it sorry" her voice was shaking. She didn't look at all scared of me, the stranger before her. She only thought I was hungry and I'm asking her for food. She held them towards me. I didn't know what to do. I was stunned how she's giving out her food, probably her dinner for a stranger she still hadn't put a face on. I continued to stare at her because I couldn't find my voice to speak.
Disturbing my stance, the safety car alarm went off. As I searched for the cause I saw a fallen tree brach at the tire. Maybe it had fallen onto the bonnet or something. I turned off the alarm using the key in my hand. I turned my head back to her finally thinking I should start talking. But her face was fueling a rather terrified emotions unlike before. Her face was all flushed and her mouth was agape.
"You don't need money or food do you?" Her voice broke as her lips quivered with sudden terror which I still had no idea of. The food she had in her hands dropped at her feet in a second. She stepped back. Then only I realize what I might look like for her, jumping in front of girl on a deserted street in the dead of the night.
I acted quickly as possible holding my hands up in my defense. I was terrified too that she would scream out and get people here, it would have been the death of me. I removed the mask and the hood at once half turning towards the light bringing some light on to my face.
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