Of Love and War Book 2: The Oncoming Storm

Chapter 14: A Call For Help

Anakin was alone in the garage, tinkering mindlessly with anything he could find that was broken in the garage. Though the only sound in the room was the sound him messing with what was currently in front of him, Anakin's mind was a storm of emotions and thoughts. He didn't know how much longer he could keep himself together.

Against his better judgment, Anakin's thoughts turned to what remained of the Tuskens out in the open desert. His expression soured and he scowled, glaring at nothing in particular as the dark thoughts came to him.

None of them should be there...they should have all died, every last one of them...I should have killed them all for what they did...

Zelina's words back at the camp echoed back to him in painful clarity.

Will killing them all, innocent or not, really do any good Anakin? Will becoming a murderer make it any better? Because no matter what you say, no matter how you look at it, this is murder, Anakin!

Anakin swallowed the bile that rose in his throat at the memory, retreating from his original train of thought almost immediately. He had killed some of the women and children before Zelina stopped him, and now he had their blood on his hands. She was right, he was a murderer now. And here he was, wanting to kill more of the Tuskens.

What's wrong with me?

He hit the machine piece in his hands a little harder than necessary, setting it down with a growl as he ran a hand through his hair. Everything felt as if it was falling apart around him. He hadn't stayed on Naboo like Obi-Wan had told him to and would probably make Obi-Wan furious at him if Obi-Wan found out, Zelina was unconscious and injured, and his mother was...

He clamped down on the thought before it could get any further. It wasn't going to do him any good to think about it. If he could help it, he was going to deny it just a little longer. Desperately, he cast his thoughts elsewhere.

He found his mind wandering to the other room, where his...step-family and Zelina were. He didn't know what to think of his step-brother and step-father yet. He had not expected his mother to get married while he was gone, and he wasn't sure if he was okay with it either. Seeing Owen made him wonder if his mother had tried to replace him...

And then there was Zelina. An ache grew in his chest as he thought of what his actions had done to her. If he hadn't lost his temper, then perhaps they could have gotten out of that camp without attracting the attention of any of the Tuskens and Zelina would have never been shot.

Then there was the other thing that ate at him. Zelina hadn't said a word to him that she had been injured. He'd heard the shot and her cry, but he hadn't thought that it had been serious damage. He'd figured by the way she was acting that it had only been a graze and she had already dealt with it. But he'd been wrong, and she had been bleeding out as she drove them back to the Lars Homestead. Had she been...was she afraid of him? Was she disgusted by him? Would she be able to look at him without seeing him as a murderer? Would she be able to forgive him?

Would she tell Padme?

Would she turn him into the Jedi Council?

Anakin suddenly felt sick as he leaned forward, trying to even out his breaths. He had seen the way she looked at him back at the camp, and he couldn't shake it. No, he was sure she would never forgive him.

"I trust you Anakin...you know I do."

As the thought came back to him, Anakin suddenly became very confused. When he'd come to help her...it almost was like nothing had happened. As if she had possibly...forgiven him.