Healing

I - stranger

it's a Christmas miracle! I've managed to force myself to grab my laptop and write the chapter. I have been going through a lot, I have to come back to my country and I'm picking up the pieces of my life now. I think it's time to write this story and as I deal with Jinyoung, I'll face my own issues and, hopefully, get better, too.

Pressure me as much as you can! Pressure to update actually works for me so feel free to nag as much as you want.

Happy Holidays!

PS: this is cross-posting with AO3 

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Park Jinyoung is numb.

He woke up from an about six months coma yet he still feels as unconscious and paralyzed, almost as if he had not woke up yet. There's something missing, something big that makes it feel like there's a hole in his soul, black, void and aching. It makes him wake up gaping for air, sometimes crying and he doesn't even know what that is.

Physically, Jinyoung is okay. His wounds, which were mostly internal, are healed. He needs rehabilitation for his weakened muscles and to try to get back most of the mobility of his left arm. Considering the big accident he was in, the young man was lucky not to lose his life, yet he does not feel grateful. He was not looking for death when he left his home that night but he was never looking forward living either. Moreover, he feels emptier than he did before, more alone.

When Jinyoung isn't in therapy, he's in his bed, looking out of the window as if like that he could find whatever is missing in him. His parents come to see him, but he isn't very responsive even if there's no problem with his speech. He holds onto a scarf that was in his room when he woke up, a scarf he doesn't know if it even belongs to him or why he has it there, but it soothes something inside of him and the young man can't let go of it.

Because it only seems Jinyoung is more depressed, his parents decide to move him to the psychiatric ward for more treatment, this is the worst they've seen him and now they are worried. Who would've thought it would take not doing anything at all for them to look worried again?

Jinyoung is now under physical therapy and psychiatric treatment. He talks to a doctor twice a week while being in that ward, with all sort of medications but he cannot even bother to count the amount of pills he's taking.

Firstly, they think Jinyoung is traumatized because of being in coma so long and the accident, so the psychiatrist tries to cover that subject.

"How would you describe being in coma is?" The psychiatrist asks during their first session, and surprisingly, it's the first question Jinyoung actually answers, even making eye contact.

"Like time travel," Jinyoung explains and the doctor in front of him can't hide his surprise, tilting his head a bit and looking more interested. "I remember... being me but younger, like different, younger versions of me that travelled to the present."

"And what did you do when you travelled in time?" The doctor asked, leaning a bit forward.

Jinyoung shrugs. "I just wandered around. Always in high places." For some reason, a small grin comes to the young man's lips as he says that, as if he could recall a fond memory. He does not know why he does that. "I like heights."

"Why did you go to those places?" Jinyoung can see the doctor writing something in a sheet of paper in a clipboard, trying to keep his eyes on the patient but also writing notes that probably say how crazy Jinyoung is.

"To enjoy the view," he answers, breaking the eye contact.

He looks around the big room, filled with different degrees, pictures and many bookshelves filled with thick and dark coloured books with titles in English in big white letters. There are some paintings trying to give some life to the cream coloured room. The furniture is minimalist, but the sofa where he's sitting, although grey and simple, is very comfortable. Yet Jinyoung's attention is caught by the big windows and the view outside.