23. Old Friend Part 1

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Tuesday, November 19, 2013
4:30p.m.

"Okay, so I don't get it. Why don't you ask the kid out, it's obvious he's into you," Michelle said.

"I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to give him the attention he needs."

"Really?" she asked, clearly puzzled. She looked me up and down from behind the kitchen counter before laughing. "Seems like you've got all the time in the world to me."

"Haha, very funny. I'm actually very productive during the day, thank you very much."

Michelle took an obnoxious sip of her lemonade, drawing the process out for as long as she could. When she finally finished and sat the glass on the table, she looked back up at me.

"What've you done?"

"Things," I muttered softly.

"Sounds to me like you're trying to make an excuse."

"An excuse for what?"

"For the fact that you're scared to give your heart to Joe again. I get it, girl, I really do. It was hard for me to open up to Mark when we first started dating, it's obviously a scary thing. But sometimes, if you really love the person, you've just got to be willing to put yourself out there and take the risk of making a fool of yourself. If you don't at least try, I'm telling you he's going to leave and move on to someone else. Maybe even to that college bestie of yours... Aliyah. I'm sure that would suck, huh?"

"Shut up, please."

"I'm sorry but it's the truth. We both know it."

The idea of Joe walking out of my life, for good, was enough to make me light headed. He was all I knew and I liked it that way. Before I could stop myself, I got too close to him. When I left college, I had a hard time adjusting to a life without him at the center of it. I didn't have someone to answer to anymore or hold me accountable. I wondered if I needed him to be the best version of myself because he brought it out of me. I wanted to be perfect for him.

I heard a quiet knock at the front door and I felt like I was being saved. Michelle ran off to get the door while I waited at the kitchen table, leg perched up on the chair across from me. Footsteps bounced off the walls and filled the kitchen. Michelle hadn't come back in, but Joe was standing at the kitchen entryway with a red tray in his hand. He smiled at me before trailing over.

"I'm back, I hope you don't mind."

This has to be a set up.

"No, of course not. I'm surprised you got that tray past security outside. What's in it?"

"My mom heard about what happened with you and had me make brownies for you, it's her secret recipe. She would've made it herself but you know she lives in Pensacola," he explained, placing them in front of me.

I unwrapped a piece of the foil covering the top of the tray, just enough to grab a piece of a brownie and pop it into my mouth. Chocolatey, but not too chocolatey. Gooey, but not liquidity. Sweet, not salty. And most importantly, no nuts. I hated nuts in my brownies. Mmm, it was like it melted in my mouth.

"This is so good," I mumbled through a mouthful of brownie.

Joe wrapped a careful arm around my shoulders and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead before taking a seat next to me at the table.

"My mom actually wanted to come visit too but I didn't know if you were ready for that. I wanted to call you about it but I got caught up with work."

"Visit me? I wouldn't mind, but I thought she'd still be hating me for running away from you like I did."

"The only thing she knows is that we broke up, not all the details as to why and how. She also doesn't know about Giana still and I would like to keep it that way, at least for a little while."

I didn't want to think about him possibly being ashamed of getting me pregnant. Was I not good enough to claim?

"Where's Sefina?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Aliyah's mom's big fiftieth is tomorrow. They're throwing a party and the family's all coming together, so babygirl's there."

"Why didn't you go?" I asked, fishing for something.

"Eh, I mean I'd love to be there with Fina, but I don't want to send the wrong message to the family. Aliyah and I aren't together and I have no plans of changing that."

"Why don't you be with her? She's beautiful."

"You're beautiful."

"She has a nice butt."

"And you have a better butt."

"She still seems sweet, you should be with someone like that."

"Look, I want you. If it's not you, I'm settling and I don't wanna settle," he asserted.

I jumped feeling his hand creep its way up my left leg, running it from my knee to my upper thigh where it would stop.

"I don't get why you want me, Joseph. I mean, you're way too good for me. I've screwed up more times than anyone can count, I can never make up my mind, I get moody, I'm bad at the whole romance thing, and I'm practically crazy. I'm sure you don't want a crazy chick around your daughter do—"

Contrary from the kiss we shared at the hospital, this one was significantly more aggressive. An animalistic growl passed through Joe's lips and instantly, I wanted more. My hands subconciously gripped the waistband of his black jeans and I hadn't noticed where I was touching him until it was too late. His right hand tugged at my hair, just enough for me to expose my neck. Quickly, his lips broke from mine and turned to the delicate skin on my neck. He started with closed mouth kisses before things got sloppier, evoking a handful of moans from me. Instinctively, I pulled Joe closer to me as he began pulling and sucking at the skin just below my jawline. It was bound to leave a mark. He placed a few more open mouth kisses along the skin of my neck as his hands worked, switching between caressing my thighs and waist.

I felt as if I should stop him, before things progressed. But the truth of the matter was, Joe was capable of making me feel things I hadn't felt before. After what happened with Damian, him taking my virginity, I thought I'd never be a sexual person.

"That was quite a show," a voice boomed, before I heard Michelle clear her throat.

Joe and I both jumped in panic and I shielded my face on his chest to hide my embarrassment. I had completely forgotten that Michelle was in the house. Joe's hands were still dangerously close to being between my legs.

"Fuck, no," Joe said in a breathless tone.

Joe sounded a bit off guard and almost like he was in disbelief. Reluctantly, I looked over at the entryway framing and winced at the man standing in front of me. Last time I saw him, I was dropping him off at rehab. I hadn't made any plans to see him after that because things were better that way. I needed to create space between us before I started to hate him. But he found me and there was no choice but to face him.

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