Superficial (On Hold)

The Beginning..

It all starts here. I am Jane. Fourteen years old. I listen to music. I go through life day by day. I am a normal girl who is just trying to make it through this thing we all call life.

How is it that people do this? What is the point of anything?

I walk down this narrow path surrounded by big, beautiful trees. It's poring the rain, but I don't care. I like the rain.

I take a breath and keep walking toward the park.

The park is my safe place. I don't need to worry about anything there.

I walk beside my favorite oak tree, sit down, and listen to the rain falling around me.

I am at peace.

I pull out my black notebook. Then I begin writing.

I am alone in this world.

I want to scream out loud.

I need way to escape this prison of worry and of doubt.

I am alone in this world.

I understand there are more people than just me.

I wish someone could understand what what any of this means.

I am alone in this world.

I want to be set free.

I worry about the past.

I have only had me.

I am alone in this world.

Can't you see?

I am stuck in this position.

I will never be set free.

I am alone in this world, with me and only me.

Poetry, what a lovely way to express your feelings.

I close my eyes and listen to the rain.

I will have to go home soon. I need to enjoy this while I can.

I stay for a while and enjoy the sound of the rain.

Rain has always had a way of calming me down.

I pull my phone out of my pocket.

Ya, I should be heading back.

I pick up bag and put my notebook underneath my extra jacket.

I can't let her see it. She would take it away.

I quickly walk back down the path to my house.

She's going to be home soon. I really shouldn't be late. I don't want another beating.

I finally see my house in sight.

Oh good she's not home yet.

I walked around the side of my house and climbed into my open window.

I always go through the window. It's faster and I don't have to take the chance of getting in trouble.

I shut my window behind me and lock it.

My bedroom door is already locked, so I should be ok.

I slipped off my shoes and sat my book bag down beside them.

How about some music.

I opened my closet, turned my stereo on, and put in my Pierce The Veil CD. Then I made sure the music was turned down.

If she comes in and catches me listening to music, she would have a cow.

In this house the only person allowed to have fun is Kate.

To her I'm just a punching bag. She's been taking her anger out on me since I was seven.

I've never really understood it.

All I can do is let her do what she wants, then go clean my wounds the best I can.

I have always kept a first aid kit under the sink in my bathroom. Just in case it's anything serious.

I lay my head back on my pillows and shut my eyes.

I don't get to listen to music very often. I really do enjoy it though.

I herd a car skid down the driveway.

Oh no! She's home!

I quickly cut my music off, tossed my bag into the closet, and then closed it.

I can't have her finding my stuff.

The front door slams. I hear her stomping down the hallway.

"Jane!" she yelled through the halls.

Oh gosh.

I climbed under my bed and closed my eyes.

She busted down my door.

I could hear her stomping around looking for me.

I herd glass shatter against my wall.

A bear bottle. She's drunk. She won't find me.

I kept my eyes closed.

After a while she left my room and back into the living room.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the destruction of my room.

Oh my gosh.

I climbed out from under my bed and walked over to my closet.

My CDs smashed into pieces.

I looked into my book bag. It was untouched. My notebook safe.

Tears pored down my face.

I only have one CD left.. my Sleeping With Sirens CD.

I am so happy I put it in my bag before she came in. If she had destroyed this CD, I would have been so heartbroken.

I slowly walked to my door and closed it. Then I pushed my bookcase in front of it.

I could hear Kate in the other room crying.

I walked into my bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face.

I think I'm going crazy.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

I still have a huge bruise on my face from yesterday. My brown hair is tangled in knots.

I grabbed my brush and did my best to fix my hair.

There isn't much I can do about the rest of me. I'm ugly. No way of fixing that.

I shook my head and pulled out my razors.

I cut myself until I couldn't take it anymore.

Blood was all over my bathroom floor and still more coming out of my wrists.

I turned my sink on and washed off the blood.

Ouch! Gosh this stings!

I let tears escape my eyes as I wrapped my arms in bandages.

I better clean this up.

I almost vomit as I cleaned my blood off the floor.

This is all so much.

After I finished cleaning the bathroom, I sat down on my bed and closed my eyes.

My heart is still racing.

I take a few shaky breaths.

I shook the suicidal thoughts away.

Everything will be ok.

I slowly fell asleep to the sound of the rain beating, lightly against my window.

~•~•~•~

Ok first chapter. Hope you like it. Please vote, and leave me comments, so I can know how good, or terrible, it is so far. Thanks \(^-^)/ hugs for you all!