A Court of Fire and Mountains

Chapter 8

Cassian

How could he be such an idiot? And now he couldn't seem to stop apologising. There was a stray ribbon that had been tugged from her hair by the wind which now lay limp on the water below, slowly sinking. Cassian diverted his attention before it could touch the bottom.

"I know a place near here. We can go there instead," Cassian could almost hear his heart breaking as he saw the despair and pain clouding her eyes. "We don't have to stay."

She turned her gaze to him.

"No." She croaked. "This is perfect." And then she started peeling off her clothes.

Nesta

Why should she let fear govern her life? Why is it that she inspires such fear in people when she is the most afraid herself? The only thought that consumed her mind was that she would not let the fear win. She embraced the cold air which enveloped her body and she undid her clothes, every movement steeling her resolve even more. When she finally stood in nothing but the ribbons in her hair, she took a step forward. And another. Ignoring the Illyrian standing beside her, she walked until she was waist deep. She closed her eyes. Feyre had wanted her to change. And she would. She took a deep breath.

And dived in.

The water warmed her to the core. She opened her eyes, not wanting to miss the beauty surrounding her. Nesta waited for the panic, the overwhelming sense of terror to freeze her limbs and squeeze her chest. But none came. Instead, a kernel of light seemed to grow inside of her. No, not light, almost the opposite. A light that shone with darkness. It felt old, otherworldly, yet familiar. It filled a hole in her chest which she hadn't realised was there. By the time Nesta had broken to the surface the bright light had dimmed to a little candle, a constant flicker within her. It was then she felt it. That power which had coursed through her before the war, which had been summoned to her fingertips with half a thought, was back. Despite the force swirling inside her being dark, she'd never felt happier. Lighter. She turned to Cassian and beamed. She barely noticed herself swimming towards him, her stroke stronger than ever. He dived back in, and emerged right in front of her, water streaming through his hair.

"What happened?" He asked, concern still etched to his features. Nesta couldn't help grinning.

"I'm not afraid anymore." She suddenly realised how close Cass was, close enough to see how the water clumped his eyelashes together, how it beaded on his lips.

"Not afraid of what?" He asked. His eyes darted around her face, and for once Nesta relished the effect she had on him.

"Anything."

"Anything?" Their eyes met, and Nesta let the truth wash over her.

"Yes." Her answer was breathless but sure. Cassian stayed as still as a statue as she raised her hand to his face. She caressed his mouth, his nose. He didn't move.

"Nesta," Cassian started. "We don't -" This time, she didn't silence him with harsh words, but with a kiss. She started tentatively, ready to pull back at any moment. She felt Cassian's hand travel up her back as he deepened the embrace. Her newfound power flared inside her, filling her chest with a warmth that made her knees wobble. Cassian smiled against her mouth and pulled her into the water, but not before he grabbed Nesta's waist and pulled her down with him.

Cassian

He tried not to let what had just happened hit him. Tried to ignore that connection that had snapped into place as Nesta pushed him below the surface. He turned to look at her, and the limited breath he had left was knocked out of him. Her hair floated around her head in a golden halo, her lips pink and flushed from their kiss. She pushed up to the surface and Cassian followed her. As soon as he'd broken the surface he turned to her.

"Did you feel it?" He gasped. She frowned and waded over to him.

"Feel what?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and hoisted herself onto his hips. Cassian's arms wrapped around her back instinctively as his heart sank. Was the bond all in his imagination?

"It doesn't matter." Cassian buried his nose into her shoulder, inhaling her scent. He'd be glad to just have Nesta feel something towards him apart from hatred.

"No, don't -" Nesta gripped his chin and met his gaze. "Don't hide anything from me." Cassian could still see that woman of stone beneath all the new smiles, and he loved it.

"I thought I felt something. In the water. It felt like-" His voice trembled. "Like a mating bond." Nesta's eyes narrowed, and she released herself from Cassian's grip. "It doesn't mean we are..." Cassian said hurriedly, alarmed by Nesta's suspicious movements. "Mates are rare. It's probably my imagination," He took a step towards her. "I mean, it's definitely -"

"What should - what should a mating bond feel like?" She interrupted. Cassian grimaced.

"I wouldn't know." He combed his fingers through his hair. "Rhys says it's like you can feel your mate in your mind. Feel their emotions, their thoughts."

Nesta

She already knew what Cassian was going to say. Her powers only made the bond more obvious. That tugging sensation, the one that had appeared that day on the battlefield, which had been there all along, which Nesta had been too ignorant, too afraid, to pay it any heed would, in the end, lead her to the person fate had led her towards in the first place. She awaited the dread and fear that would inevitably stem the words trying to escape her throat. But it didn't come. She inhaled deeply, relishing this freedom she had allowed herself. She closed the distance between herself and him. She tilted her head slightly to meet his eyes. They were deep hazel, flecked with gold, swirling with confusion and happiness and lust and... and love. She wondered if her eyes were the same.

"You're my..." She started, but tears choked her. She didn't deserve this. She was a terrible person. This male in front of her was willing to 'end his existence to defend those who need it most'. She didn't deserve him.

Nesta didn't think she'd ever felt less angry or scared as she did when she pulled her mate's face down to hers and kissed him.

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Happy New Year!! My first resolution is to enjoy pressing that 'completed' switch because that looks extremely satisfying... :) I hope you have enjoyed this story, if you did, I'd really appreciate votes and comments, and if you like my writing you could try my other story, Heir of Spring.

Anyway, thank you all so much for the reads!! Lots of love xxx