Rewrite Your Happiness (A Ryan Ross Fanfiction)

The Fear of Falling Apart

Two days later

"Hey, Brendon, buddy. How are you feeling?" Spencer asked.

I snapped back to reality as the four of us reentered the hospital after freshening up and journaling the day. Apparently, Brendon regained consciousness right before we returned to check on him. The sight of of our friend hugging Sarah in tears of joy was the probably the most relieving sight I ever thought I'd see. His head was still wrapped in bandages, but he had a little less than before. I bit my quivering lip as Ryan squeezed my hand. I shook my head. His reassurance was burning, and not in a good way. Knowing our friend ended up this way for the price of giving Ryan happiness pained me. How could I face him knowing it was my fault in the bigger picture?

Brendon looked up from Sarah's shoulder to face us. His eyes lit up. He went to speak out names, but all that came out was wheezing and dry coughs. The doctor wasn't kidding when he said it was a bad case of Laryngitis. He wasn't even able to speak! I saw a flip book on his food tray with large words written in sharpie. Clearly, he had been using it to get by and communicate. He was better off than the Little Mermaid ever was, I'll say that. Brendon looked at me, a faint spark in his eye.

I sped over and wrapped my arms around him.  "Thank God you're alright." I sighed as I felt my face turn red and warm. It was almost surreal, seeing Brendon awake in front of us after years away and counting hours sleeping. I didn't want to let go and, from the feeling of his surprisingly tight grasp, he probably didn't want to either. Seeing someone again under these circumstances obviously intensified sentiment.

Brendon pulled my head back so I could see his face. "Elise, do you still read lips?" His wheezed as his lips formed words without sound. I chuckled sadly, wishing to hear my obnoxious friend's voice again. "Of course, you dork." I said out loud. Jon, Spencer, and Ryan looked me confused as Brendon smacked his forehead in relief. "Oh, thank god. At least it'll be easy with you. I hate writing shit down on this fucking paper like I'm some deaf kid. The only good thing that comes out of this is getting high on the sharpie fumes."

"I don't get it. What am I missing?" Spencer asked as Ryan turned and shot me an impressed smirk. Jon patted Spencer on the shoulder. "It would seem Elise is reading Brendon's lips and he's talking about doing a dance for us." We all chuckled softly at Jon's dig as our mute friend flipped the bird. I had never felt so happy to be flipped off until this moment. It was reassuring that there was no bad blood on Brendon's end anymore.

Sarah was trying hard to keep tears from escaping her eyes as she stared at us with a bittersweet expression. "I'll leave you guys to it." She said, kissing Brendon before she exited the room.

I looked at Brendon and clutched my arm. "Did...did you see your mother?" I asked softly. I couldn't help it. It had probably been years without words of reassurance or mending and she suddenly cared when he came back like this. I wanted to know if they got to talk again. Brendon looked away towards the window. I took that as a yes. "What did she say?" I asked again. Brendon pursed his lips and swiped a finger past his eye. "Words I needed a long time ago..." he wheezed. "but I forgave her and she went home." I nodded. That's good, I suppose. It must have been hard to hear, whatever Mrs. Urie said, if it made Brendon react like this. So, I said no more.

Ryan walked over to Brendon's bedside and gave him a bro high five. "It's been a long time, man. It's good to see ya." He said, squeezing his hand. A wry look crossed Brendon's face before he pulled my fiancé into a hug. Ryan tensed up like he usually did before patting our friend on the back. Remembering how the last words they spoke to each other, it was very relieving to know that it was all in the past. Brendon opened his mouth before closing it again. Talking was an essential, so I couldn't blame him for forgetting his condition. He hesitantly grabbed the notebook and sharpie, the sound of scribbling filling the air. He flipped the notebook to Ryan with a sad look.