When Light Met Dark // Phan

Eighteen

"ok," Phil paced around the living room, phone held against his ear while Dan watched; he didn't want to talk to the police himself. It would make everything too real.

"Thank you." Phil hung up, putting the phone down on the table but didn't sit down.

"So?" Dan prompted, picking at the skin on his fingers; an unhealthy habit, but he couldn't seem to help it.

"Chris has been arrested," Phil said, looking out of the window for no reason other than for something to distract himself from the weight of the situation, "they'll call again when they have a court date."

You would have thought Dan would feel better knowing Chris was detained, but that just meant he'd definitely have to face him in court eventually.

"It'll be okay"

Dan hoped he was right.

*

The police had given Dan a number to call if he wanted to talk about the assault. His first reaction was to throw the card away, to forget about it, but Phil reasoned with him, telling him it might give him a better chance in court. That's what encouraged him to pick up the phone, card in hand, but typing in those numbers was far more difficult than he would have thought. He'd banished Phil out of his room until he had finished, but he thought this may have been a mistake; he wanted Phil to be there, even if he had to give out all the horrible details. But he'd done it now; there was no going back, so he sighed, tapping the numbers into the phone, finger hovering above the dial button before pressing it. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable.

The phone rang for only five seconds before it was answered, a woman on the other end asking how she could help. Funny, she couldn't really help at all.

"My name's Daniel Howell and I'm calling about... About a sexual assault."

*

The woman who picked up the phone passed him on to a man who told him he was best off seeing him in person as soon as possible. Dan could hardly process this before being handed back to the first woman, who offered him an appointment for the next day. It wasn't until he hung up when he realised this was going too fast. It was going too fast after so long of nothing and he wasn't quite sure how he was meant to deal with it.

Why did this have to happen now? He was happy as he was, with Phil, and now Chris had come and fucked it up, yet again, and there was nothing he could do about it. Usually, when he cried, it built up slowly, but this time, he skipped the quiet weepy stage altogether and went straight to loud sobbing and borderline howling.

He fell on his back, hands covering his face, but he couldn't muffle the sounds; he couldn't control them. It was too much to handle, and the urge to hurt himself arose yet again, but before he could act on it, Phil opened the door, rushing to his side and laying down to hug him wordlessly.

He couldn't carry on like this, having a mental breakdown every hour. He couldn't count on Phil to be there every time, either; it was unfair. It wasn't like Phil would complain, he was too nice to do that.

All Dan wanted was to spend time with Phil without this thing constantly looming overhead, like a living nightmare. He wanted things to be back the way they were, before Chris fucked everything up.

"I love you so fucking much, Dan." Dan froze upon hearing these words, but relaxed again in a matter of seconds. The strength with which Phil said it was enough to put Dan's mind at rest, for even a little bit.

"I love you too." It wasn't a lie at all, in fact, it was the most genuine thing he had ever said. He could feel Phil smile against his neck, kissing it lightly as they embraced. Maybe he would be able to get through this with Phil by his side.