When Light Met Dark // Phan

Fourteen

Dan was utterly powerless, yet again, and it didn't take too long until he finally succumbed to obedience, for what was the point of fighting a battle that was already lost?

"Good job I found you," Chris' voice was low, seeping into Dan's ears like poison, "didn't want you getting away."

But what would have surely been a well rehearsed victory speech was quickly interrupted by the front door opening, revealing none other than Phil himself, staring at the two men in shock.

"Chris? Dan?" He looked between them, utterly confused, before stepped between them, pushing Chris away by the shoulders, now void of the emotion.

"Hey Phil!" Chris put on an obnoxiously fake smile, going in for a hug, but Phil pushed him away again, giving him a stony glare, only that's what it seemed like from where Dan stood, simply watching from behind Phil's shoulder.

"What were you doing to him?" Phil's voice was low and level, but it wavered slightly as he stood his ground.

"Just saying hello to an old friend."

But Phil didn't seem convinced; Dan could almost see the muscles in the older man's back tense as he took a step forward.

"It didn't look like that from where I was standing," he growled lowly, "if you have no further business here, could you please leave?"

It was Chris' turn to be shocked, obviously not used to being told "no", but Phil stood his ground, letting him know he'd stay there all night if that's how long it took.

"Whatever," Chris huffed, turning to leave, "I thought we were friends." The two men watched him leave, their breath trapped in their lungs, as if scared he'd come back if they dared move.

Once they were sure he wasn't coming back, Phil turned to Dan, his shoulders now relaxed slightly, "what was that?" But Dan didn't know how to respond; he couldn't give all the gory details, but maybe it would be easier to get it out now? But the more he worked himself up to just tell the truth, the words got caught in his throat, until he changed his answer altogether

"He followed me back here. We used to be friends, but I don't know why he followed me."

It wasn't a lie.

Phil raised his eyebrows, "so you know him?"

"I'm guessing you do, too?" It had finally sunk in now that the moment had passed, that Phil knew Chris' name, and that he had been referred to as his friend. This couldn't be a good thing at all; what if Dan were to say something against Chris? Whose side would Phil take?

"Not very well," he admitted, "I never liked him very much, but he used to hang around with me at school." If that was the case, maybe he had a bit of hope?

But Dan didn't know what to make of this; it was a scary situation, to say the least, and he wanted to know more about how Chris knew him before Phil carried on.

"I know what he's like."

"What?"

"I know he can get, um, violent," he sighed quietly, "I'm just sorry you had to be on the sharp end of it."

So not only did Phil know Chris, but he also knew what he was like? Everything seemed a little too convenient to be considered a coincidence.

Phil stepped forward suddenly, trapping Dan in a tight hug, his mouth hovering besides his ear, "I'm just glad I came out when I did." Dan melted into the older man's warm hold; he was safe for now. He had Phil.

*

A threshold seemed to have been stepped over in which both men were more comfortable showing affection, whether it be by hugging or simply sitting closer to each other than they usually would. Phil had suggested ordering a pizza and watching a movie, so they did, hoping this would distract them from the events of that evening.

Unsurprisingly, Dan couldn't focus on anything, simply letting his pizza go cold as he thought back to those cold emotionless eyes, those arms holding him to the wall like nails, the look he got as if to say "this isn't the end" and he knew. He knew that wasn't the end. Not by a long shot.

"Dan?" Phil had slid over to other side of the sofa, draping an arm over Dan's shoulder as a symbol of affection and safety, as if the gesture would save him from his own mind. But it did help, making his thoughts quieten, even a little as he burrowed into Phil's chest, sighing as he relaxed.

"You still thinking about him?" Dan just nodded.

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

In theory, the easiest solution would be to just tell him how exactly he knew Chris, and though he had his  apprehensions, Phil had proved over and over that he could be trusted.

"Did he?" The silence must have been enough for Phil to assume the worst, as his grip around Dan had become tighter, his voice rising an octave.

Dan took a deep breath, turning to face Phil head on; he needed to do this properly.

"Not out there, no."

"What do you mean not out there?" Phil's eyes were wide, shining with tears he was refusing to let fall.

"The night you found me," Dan's voice shook ever so slightly, "my dad found out I'd been with Chris. He saw a hickie on my neck, but it wasn't consensual."

"No..." Phil whispered, anger rising in his voice like he knew where this was going.

"But that's not everything." Dan looked up from his lap, where he'd been fiddling with his shirt absently, to stare directly into Phil's almost innapropriately calming blue eyes, "he raped me, Phil."

*

Dan told him every last thing as Phil listened, speechless, and once the story was over, Phil pulled him in for a hug so tight he wasn't sure how he was still able to breathe.

"I'll fucking kill him." Phil growled into his ear, squeezing tightly around his waist.

And suddenly, like it was the only thing that could possibly keep his sanity, Phil kissed Dan quickly on the lips. Dan didn't have much time to process this before Phil pulled away just as fast, anger now replaced by fear, like a deer caught in headlights.

"I'm so sorry!" Phil said, tears now falling down his face, "you've just gone through hell and back and now I'm treating you just like he did..." Phil looked like he was ready to get up and leave the room before Dan pulled him down again, careful not to use too much force, for he knew deep down, Phil didn't really want to leave.

"You're nothing like him," if there was one thing he was sure of, it was this; Phil had shown nothing but the purest form of kindness, but the one thing he wasn't so sure about was that kiss. Sure, it was nice, but were either of them in the right mental state to mean it? Maybe it was a genuine mistake on Phil's part? Or maybe he actually meant it but chose the wrong moment? Either way, maybe it would be best to carry on as if it never happened?

"You're the kindest, most considerate person I know. I just... I just don't think I want..." Dan didn't need to carry on, Phil already knew, simply smiling sadly as he finally stood, ruffling Dan's curls quickly, but Dan couldn't find it in himself to tell him to leave his hair alone.

"I know," Phil's voice was small, like he was afraid of saying the wrong thing, "I'll see you in the morning."

Dan watched him leave, and if emptiness was an emotion, that was surely what his heart was filled with.

*

Phil went to sleep that night, Dan not in his bed next to him, but instead in his mind, fearing that he had lost one of the best friendships he'd ever had.

Dan didn't go to sleep at all that night, the exact same things on his own mind, except Phil was the only friend he'd ever had.

A/N

I'm sorry if these parts are getting too short; sometimes an ending will emerge naturally and it just feels like forcing more narrative when it's not needed.

I hope you like this, because I'm having a lot of fun writing it lol