Iodine *TRIGGER WARNING*

Talking To Others About Self-Harm

I understand that it can be hard at times to open up to people, especially when it comes to topics like this. But throughout your tough times, it's important to find someone that you trust who you can talk to...

Reflect on who has been there for you during the tough times in the past- Consider telling someone who has been helpful and supportive of you before.

Choose someone you trust- This is the most important factor. You have to feel really comfortable with this person and know that you can really talk to them and trust them to be there for you.

Think about what your goal is in telling that person- If you just need to get it off your chest, you might want to choose a trusted friend. If you think you want medical help, you may choose to tell your doctor first. Thinking about what you hope to get out of this initial conversation can help you decide who to tell.

Never tell someone in anger- Saying "you made me cut myself" could take the focus away from your needs and make them defensive. An argument could start and derail a very important conversation.

Talk about why you self-harm- The cutting is not the issue but rather the emotions underneath that the cutting helps you deal with. Getting to the cause of the behaviour can help you and your confidant move forward.

Say why you told them- Some people admit self-harm because they feel lonely and isolated and do not want to go through it alone anymore. Some people fear their self-harm is getting worse and want help. Telling your friend why you are talking about it now will help them understand how you are feeling.

Be prepared for shock, anger, and sadness- when you come out to someone about self-harm, their first instinctive reaction might be anger, shock, fear, embarrassment, guilt, or sadness. Remember this is because they care about you.

Give them resources- Have internet sites or books ready to share with the person you are telling. They might be afraid of what they don't understand so you can provide the tools to help them help you.

Location- When talking to someone about your self-injury, it's important that you're in a comfortable, safe place. Plan for it, set aside a lot of time, and make sure the person you're disclosing to has plenty of time to talk as well. It's important that the conversation isn't rushed or interrupted by other people. If this means leaving your house and going somewhere more private, do so, but make sure it's a place that you both will feel comfortable talking at.

Talking to the self injurer about their self harm

The most important thing? Be a friend. Assess the situation carefully and calmly, with as much as an open mind and an open ear as you can muster. Realize that in this situation, most of the time, you can't fix the situation or change how they feel about it. The number one thing you can really do is let them know you care and that they aren't alone, and that the only person who can really change them, is them. It all takes time and patience.

Know the reasoning- People self harm for a number of reasons. How you deal with it all depends on why they do this.

Look after yourself- Sometimes we can get so busy looking out for a friend that we forget about ourselves. Always remember to keep yourself safe and happy, as dealing with such a serious topic as this can be emotionally draining. Keep up with things you enjoy, and exercise, eat well, get some rest, so that you’re in a good mental place to be able to help.
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255