Leaders (Clexa) (Lesbian Stories)

Chapter 21: Thoughts

Lexa's POV

I wake up from the sounds of voices coming from what looked like the kitchen. I see Clarke and Niylah sitting at the table eating, they don't notice I'm awake and I keep my eyes closed, listening to their conversation.

"She's the one isn't she? The one you said made you stronger." I hear Niylah say.

"Yes. But I needed to go, I couldn't look at my people and not see all the innocent lives I killed." Clarke states with no emotion in her voice.

"They weren't innocent lives Clarke, you said they were eating people."

"Yes, but some of them were children and others that didn't even know that's what they were doing." Clarke says, I can hear her voice crack with emotion.

"It had to happen Clarke, you know that. But you can't leave the people that are supposed to help you. I saw how you were last night when you saw her. She means a lot to you, I can see that." Niylah says softly.

"She does."

"Then you need to talk to her. You have to let her help you. Plus she probably needs you too." Niylah says and I hear her move from the table and grab something. "I'm going out to look for things. I'll be back tonight." She says and I open my eyes. I see her kiss Clarke on the cheek before leaving.

I slowly sit up and groan, feeling a little bit of pain in my side and leg. I always forget that I'm not 100% since I was shot. I stand up.

"Lexa, let me help.." I hear Clarke say as she walks over.

"I'm fine." I say coldly, putting my arm out to stop her from getting closer to me.

"Are you okay? How are your wounds?" She asks concerned.

"I'm fine, just not 100% yet." I state.

"Well I have breakfast if you're hungry, and we can talk."

I nod and make my way over to the table, sitting down. She places down a bowl of soup for me and a piece stale bread. She sits down in the chair diagonal to me. I start to eat, trying to keep my emotions calm before I blow up at her. I have so much I want to say and ask her but I don't even know where to start.

"How is everyone else?" Clarke said quietly.

I looked at her and could see that she was concerned. I was just so angry and upset I couldn't really look at her. "Why did you do it?" I asked, ignoring her original question.

"I just couldn't stay Lexa."

"You couldn't stay? Clarke do you realize how many people you hurt by leaving?" I ask as I stand up from the table. "People died looking for you, Octavia almost died looking for you! I wasn't capable of looking for you myself so I asked her to find you. And she almost died!" I yell.

"Lexa, I'm..." she tried to say but I cut her off.

"No! You left Bellamy to lead your people alone, while he's having nightmares from killing those people. And your mother is worried sick about you! She doesn't know if you're dead or alive! And you left me!" I screamed, not realizing that I was crying. I leaned back against the wall as I cried. "I was in a coma for almost a month. I had to have people help me get back to normal and walk again. The only person I wanted there was you."

Clarke walked over to me slowly and I could see the tears in her eyes. She pulled me into a tight embrace and I held her close. We both cried and held each other for what felt like hours. I pulled away from her as I calmed down, wiping the tears from my face. "I'm sorry." I heard her whisper.

I nod my head in response, it would take some time for me to get over what happened.

"I'll come home, if you will let me." She said, wiping the tears from her own eyes.

"I will, I'm sure your mother will want that too."

Clarke nodded and walked back over to the table. I followed her, sitting back down and looking at her. "Why are you this far out by yourself?" She asked me.

"Well, I've been working hard to expand my people. Arkadia became apart of my people and our place is now called Polis. I wanted to place groups out farther for more resources and better ways of trade to help one another." I state.

"I'm guessing you are going closer to the ocean then?" She asked.

"As close as we can to it, it'll just be different resources then what we have at Polis and Arkadia so it should be beneficial."

Clarke nodded in understanding. We spent the next half an hour eating in silence, the two of us not really knowing what to say.

"So who is she?" I ask Clarke.

Clarke looked up at me questionably, then sighed when she realized who I was talking about. "Her name is Niylah, this is her place. I kinda got caught up in a horde of walkers and she saved me, told me I could stay here. She's only a friend Lexa, she's just been helping me."

I nodded my head as I stared down at the table. I wanted to ask more, did they do anything together or was she actually just a friend? It wasn't my business though and I should leave it at that.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Clarke move from the table. She reached into one of the cabinets and grabbed a bottle. She poured out what looked like Advil pills and placed them in front of me. She poured some water into a glass and handed it to me.

"This should help with the pain, you should rest. We can leave tomorrow." She says and I just nod.

I take the medicine and just stand up, walking over to the couch. I felt so out of place with Clarke right now but I also felt at home. She was the only one that could make me feel like that.
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I hope you all enjoyed that chapter! Sorry it took longer than expected but I have the summer off of work and school so I'll be more focused on making this story a whole lot better! Thank you all for reading and keeping me going!